Hiya

chloe hear.  I gess i dont rite real wel, so dont hold dat aganst me.  Im havin beter ten sex smokin on my vs 120s.  dey make me feel soooo goooed!  now if i jes can find a cock 2 suk!

Girl Named Chloe Taking Over My Dreams

In my dreams last night, I was a girl named Chloe.  She (me?) was pretty wild.  Just wanted to have sex and smoke.

Went shopping for shoes yesterday, but didn't have much time so wasn't able to find what I want.  Did make me feel awfully girly.  I need a closet that I can fill up with shoes.  I wake up every morning now sucking my thumb.  And now I'm starting to suck it during the day without thinking about it.  My mind goes blank as I suck my thumb and than I just feel pleasure and a strong compulsion to keep sucking on it.  And than, I want to smoke.

A Girl Needs To Shop for Shoes

I think someone else has been using my blog. 

I'm feeling so girly and arroused smoking a delicious Virginia Slim 120 and wearing a silky sheer blouse, silky black pants, nylons and a slip and bra---just no panties! I love being submissive and owned by Mistress Alyssa, as i am her fetish smoking sissy girl.  My addictions for smoking and dressing are growing I think.  I need to do some shopping today----mmmmmm shop for some sexy femme heels, maybe boots too.  A girl needs to have her shoes.  I just feel so eroticised here smoking and being so silkly dressed.  I don't seem to have much of a will anylonger when Mistress Alyssa talks to me.  I want to please her so much, and do whatever she tells me.  I want to open my mind up and just let her fill up my head with all her thoughts and what she wants me to think.    Everything else seems to not mean much anymore. Just being Mistress Alyssa's fetish smoking sissy girl.

chloe here

hi em chloe, and i hopes this chick melinda dont mind me writin hear fur her.  I em bimbo grirl who luvs to smoke and to suk cocks and have sex.  I hope i can do this a lot.  i luv to dress so femme and slutty and sexy and want a cock soon.  smokin write now.  hop im basck later

Off Xmas Shopping

Last minute Xmas shopping.  I have on my silky sheer magenta blouse over a smooth nylon black slip and lacy black bra, with satiny black nylon brief panties, silky shimmery nylon stockings with a lacy garter, and a magenta silky mid-length skirt, wearing make up, a long cute sexy wig, and shiny red lipstick.  Well, this is how I wanted to dress to go shopping.  I guess I am buying some boring things, but I might have to pick up some things for me---I'm such a naughty girl, but I think I deserve some femme things!  Don't you?  I really might need to start doing mail order---so much easier.  If my Mistress Alyssa decides to send me one, maybe I'll have a nice guy under misletoe who I can kiss!  Wish my Mistress was here to kiss---I would kiss her all over.  Her lips, the tip of her cock, mmmmmm.  As I enjoyed a smokey treat, Virginia Slim 120-----oooooooo, PLeasure, mmmm.  Need to be careful, I will put myself in a trance.  Well, I should put some more Virginia Slim 120s in my so feminine silver cigarette case so I can take them with me shopping.  Next year, I hope I will be completely girlied up to go Xmas shopping-----giggle, giggle.

No Panties Wednesday

Even though my feminization may have slowed down somewhat, I still had my No Panties Wednesday.  Actually I wore thigh high nylon hose, a silky cami and put more polish on my toenails.  Hoping to find all sorts of sissy clothes, makeup, lingerie and new butt plug under the tree at Christmas, but i don't think Santa got my list.  Boohoo

Computer Borrowed

Alyssa's Fetish smoking sissy girl (me!) not been on the computer last few days because lent it out to a friend.  He is also working on it.  Hope to have it back soon.  Want to wear a silk and satin red dress for my Mistress Alyssa on Christmas morning and tenderly awake her by sucking on her cock and serving her breakfast.

Overslept

Had meant to get up early so maybe I would be fortunate enough to be able to speak to my Mistress Alyssa.  I guess I slept in too late.  Maybe a little too much to drink last night.  Oooooie- I am such a sissy.  Smoking has made me feel even more dreamy like I just enjoy being a smoking sissy girl.  I think about sucking cocks but I am not excited anymore about fucking a woman.  Now, getting a cock in my rear sissy hole while im inhaling a sweet tasting Virginia Slim 120 would be very erotic.  Maybe my Mistress Alyssa will do this to me.  Maybe I could make a video with me doing this!  Laptop not working great.  I think i need a new router.  I need to spend more time with my Mistress Alyssa.  I am so much her fetish smoking sissy girl now.  I should replace my wedding ring with a sissy collar.  I am Mistress Alyssa's smoking sissy girl now, not a husband.

Not In Christmas Spirit

I feel just blasee about the holidays this year.  I can't feel excited if I'm not dressed in a red satin Christmas dress or a see through nylon blouse and taffeta skirt, over smooth nyloned legs, with bright red lipstick and able to be smoking a Virginia Slim 120.  And wish I was with my Mistress Alyssa during the holidays especially although I'm sure she is busy this time of year.  I felt even worse when i wasn't able to talk to Mistress Alyssa today.  But, I always feel bad now when I go very long without talking to her.  I wish I could just get on her schedule.  I wake up from dreams of Mistress Alyssa, usually with my thumb in my mouth and a nighty on in the middle of the night, but lately it has been too cold to get out of bed and see if she is on the net.  But, I feel restless when i don't talk to her.  Had a bunch of things to do today.  Wore panties and a cami, but really would have liked to keey my silky dress on that I first put on.  Trying to learn more about make up and lipstick.  For some reason, really feeling the urge to start wearing lipstick.  Was a bit distracted today, and I don't think I have smoked 8 cigarettes today.  Keeping my Virginia Slims in their pretty silver case.  Feel so feminine when i pull a cigarette out of it.Is time of year when people should be together, but I'm feeling lonely because I feel the need to be with people who know I am a fetish smoking sissy girl, and love me that way.  Maybe next Christmas!

No Longer the Man I Once Was

I actually no longer a man, if I ever was one.  I know now that i am a fetish smoking sissy girl.  I was a non-smoker who looked down on smokers and no I am a smoker that is hypnotized watching other girls smoke.  I no longer can stand wearing the cotton boxer shorts I used to wear.  I now wear silky nylon or satiny panties.  I wear shiny clear nail polish on my toes, and i keep thinking of wearing shiny lipstick.  I sometimes wear a lacy bra, and I put on a lacy silky nylon slip as much as I dare, which is more and more.  I live to put on a silky sheer blouse and twirly chiffon skirt or a silky tight dress.  I catch myself swinging my hips when I walk.  And I keep thinking about how Im going to become even more femme.  I love sucking my Mistress Alyssa's cock and dream of her every night.  I am sleeping more and more in a nylon nighty and wake up sucking my thumb which seems like a cock to me.  And I seem to be smoking my delicious Virginia Slim 120s more and more.  Smoking cigarettes has become sex for me.  I dont need a wife anymore, I have my sexy VS 120s which give me so much bliss and pleasure.  And I slip into a trance after just a few deep inhales of my sexy feminine Virginia Slim 120s.  I know that soon I will be dressing, and doing a smoking video for my Mistress. 

Watched TV

I felt guilty watching the DVR recorded DEXTER episode  from Sunday night when I should have been studying make-up videos.  I need to learn to put on lipstick, because I am really wanting to start wearing it on my lips.  Well, maybe tomorrow  A bit tired tonight.  Got up in middle of night last night because I heard my Mistress Alyssa calling me.  I want to be with her all the time now.  I'm sure she was busy with the things she needs and chooses to do.  I am her mere submissive fetish smoking sissy girl.  Busy at work is keeping me from really going under as a submissive smoking girl.  But, the transformation is taking place.  Always looking for ways to speed the metemorphis into that smoking sissy girl.

Felt Horny All Day

Couldn't stop feeling horny all day.  Couldn't concentrate at work.  Just wanted to smoke because that gives me so much bliss and sexual satisfaction.  Kept swishing and acting girly because I felt so girly.  Was looking to buy lipstick, but was confused what to buy.  Also realized that if I put it on my lips, it might not all come off?  Thinking more and more that I need a few days to live as a fetish smoking sissy girl being with my Mistress Alyssa on Skypa or IM with my cam on.  Will be all her smoking sissy girl after that.  Have to find a cute long wig first.  I will put on some makeup, a silky dress, my cute long wig and do a smoking video for my Mistress.

My Mind Has Gotten Hazy

I still remember a time when I used to think things through.  Where I had a sense of planning what I was doing.  But, now I just seem to act by the needs and thoughts that appear in my head.  I think about needing that next delicious Virginia Slim 120 cigarette.  And how much bliss i feel when I smoke one.  And how erotic and sexy and feminine I feel dressing in silky sheer feminine clothes, and how much I need to dress more and more that way.  And how i love feeling so submissive and obeying my Mistress Alyssa.  Other thoughts do still come into my head that I am taking these things too far, that soon it will be all who I am.  But, those thoughts have become very hazy, and I can't seem to bring them into focus anymore.  I do at times start thinking about what I am doing, but so easy to let those thoughts go.  So pleasureful just to allow myself to follow my needs that I dont even need to think about.  I started this blog starting to focus on that maybe i need to slow all this feminization down, but I looked at my pack of Virginia Slim 120s----and they were so sexy so inviting, I needed to take one out to look at it.  I had thought about testing myself not to smoke 10 cigarettes, but why would I do that?  They call to me.  I want to have a sexy Virginia Slim 120 between my lips all the time.

Pretty Silver Cigarette Case

I was over at a shopping center today, and I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to go into a Smoke Shop I was walking past.  It was if my legs had a mind of their own.  I walked into the shop and found myself explaining to the shop owner that I needed a silver case for Virginia Slim 120s.  He found me a shiny, pretty feminine one and I felt a little thrill to see a rose engraved on its cover.  I knew I had to have it.  I also got a little giddy to see so many packages of VS 120s on the wall.  I asked him which ones were the strongest, but I dont think he knew.  I ended just getting a pack of the same Virginia Slim 120s that I always do, even though I already still have half a pack left.  Just felt good to buy more.  And now I have the beautiful silver cigarette case.  I stared at the case, almost feeling like I was in a trance.  But, I know i am such a good hypnosis subject.  I'm not sure why I know this, I just do.  And I am feeling increasingly under hypnosis.  I just am always feeling so submissive and open and following things i dont even know how they popped into my head. 

Woke Up This Morning In My Nighty And Confused

This morning, I woke up and found that I was still wearing my filmy silky magenta baby doll nighty and matching panties.  I also realized that I was wearing a bra.  I at first couldn't remember where I was.  My mind was in a fog.  And I had my thumb in my mouth sucking away---and I was dreaming it was a cock!I thought I was a girl (well I am a girl---but not one pretending to be a guy), and maybe I was with someone whose cock I needed to suck.   Well, no cock there! Just my thumb, but that felt so blissful to suck on.  In and out, tongue circling it.  Damn!  Hurried out of bed so wife would not see me, thinking that I should not be living here anymore.  Went outside and broke out a delicious sexy, feminine Virginia Slim 120.  Since a couple of days ago when I spoke with my Mistress Alyssa, I have fallen further under the craving to smoke----I feel drugged when I smoke.  The long sexy Virginia Slim 120s make me feel so feminine, so girly, so submissive, so much like I am transforming into Mistress Alyssa's fetish smoking sissy girl.  Its all I want to be now.  Mostly what I think about.  i live for when I can talk to her, and can't wait to see what she is going to do to me next.  And I just have the feeling now that I can and should tell her everything about me.  I just want to show how much she owns me, controls me, is molding me into the fetish smoking sissy girl that i need to completely transform into.  I have a feeling that Im acting and thinking more like a girl without even realizing it. 

Virginia Slim 120s Give Me Bliss

I have started to worship my Virginia Slim 120s.  They have become my addiction.  I want to keep them in a very special place so I am looking for a very special silver case to keep them in.  People keep asking me what has changed with me.  I think perhaps because I am acting so much like a girl the past couple of days.  I'm not completely sure because I'm only doing what feels natural to me.  I can hardly stand to wear boy clothes anymore.  Got a dress in the mail, and it took all my will power not to go put it on and show everyone the girl i am.  I want to find a feminine transformation service so I can show how completely feminized i am now to my Mistress Alyssa.  I want to get a hotel room for a couple of days to smoke and dress and talk to my Mistress Alyssa.  After that I will be completely addicted to smoking, dressing, and obeying Mistress Alyssa.  Maybe that will be the time to move out/

Ordered A Dress-Want More

Been so busy lately.  Had a cold too.  Was smoking 8 cigarettes a day, but slowed down while feeling bad.  Feeling better now.  Do I move forward on smoking to really establish a smoking addiction?  My need to have dresses addiction is growing.  Ordered a silky disco dress although I don't know how I'm going to sneak it past wife.  Let alone where to keep it.  Really want lots of silky dresses (and silky blouses and silky skirts) hanging in full view in my closet.  Have been having dreams of sucking my Mistress Alyssa's penis, than wake up and I'm sucking my thumb.  When did I start sucking my thumb>!!!  Wear a silky nighty to bed a lot too.  Being careful to hide from wife, but it starts to become so much me that I forget I'm wearing one, and might get careless.   Actually looked at an apartment thinking that I might want a new place to live.  Walked into the apartment office without thinking about it, and realized, "what am I doing?  Am I really this far down the road?!"  Wish Mistress Alyssa knew someone I could live with.  Actually really wish I could live with Mistress Alyssa!  Still working on finding make up.  Not sure what is going to happen if I start wearing make up.  But, i wear nylon panties mostly---exscept today---its No Panties Wednesday!  I'll wear thigh high nylons (need some silky ones) and a camisole.  I could wear lots of lingerie on cold day like this.

Ordered A Dress

Ordered a smooth silky polyester dress.  Was also going to order a second very sheer black silk one, but they were out.  I want to fill my closet with silky slippery smooth dresses, skirts and blouses.  No more shirts and pants.  Maybe i should start looking for an apartment or a room.  Anyone out there have a room to rent or a house to share?

Destined To Completely Become Mistress Alyssa's Fetish Smoking SissyGirl

Even when I drop off the path of feminization and sissification for a few days, I find that I can't keep myself from finding my way right back to that path.  I have smoked 8 cigarettes today, and I will smoke more.  I can't wait to do my smoking video while dressed for my Mistress Alyssa.  Something weird has happened.  I have started sucking my thumb when I go to bed---and thinking that i am sucking of Mistresss Alyssa's cock.  I re-painted my toenails today.  They are so shiny now.  I'm thinking of putting another coat on them to make them even shinier.  I am using the clear coat.  I have not made love to my wife in a while.  Smoking is now sex for me and smoking has replaced sex with my wife.  I increasingly don't need her.  She is in the way of my becoming the complete Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl and in belonging to Mistress Alyssa.  I find that I need to speak to Mistress Alyssa.  Speaking to her is like taking crack to me.  I have come to need it.  Need it more and more.

Holidays Are Too Busy

Well, maybe they won't be when I am in shiny silky sissy dresses the whole time.  Not sure I even got my 8 cigarettes in yesterday.  Dodging relatives and other people the whole day.  I was acting swishy, though.  Couldn't help that.  Maybe people just thought I'd drank a bit.  Wanted to be girly and frilly.  More stuff going on today, unfortunately.  Maybe I wasn't quite far down the road of feminization and sissification as I thought, as I am still able to resist the impulses to be that way in an overt manner.  Hmmmmm.

Need To Blog, Need To Dress, Need To Smoke, Need To Obey

Missed my Blog yesterday and felt awful about it.  Trying to do too many things when I really just need to be Mistress Alyssa's Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl as I really am.  Kept trying to sneak a smoke different places.  Just got my 8 cigarettes in, but wanted to smoke more.  Will be so much Bliss when I am living most of the time as a smoking sissy girl.  I want just silky dresses, skirts and blouses hanging in my closet.  I only want lingerie in my drawers- satin and nylon panties, nylons, slips, bras, nightys.  Want dildos and butt plugs too.  And of course, my Virginia Slim 120s on my shelves.  Just had on a nylon slip while smoking a Virginia Slim 120 yesterday, and I got so turned.  My clitty gets hard just thinking about having a smoke while I'm dressed, even just some.  I can't wait to do a sissy smoking video for my Mistress Alyssa so I can turn myself on all the time by watching myself dressed and smoking.  I hope Mistress Alyssa shows the video to her friends to show how I have become her fetish smoking sissy girl completely.

Fighting Urge To Show Everyone That I'm A Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl

I have started swinging my hips, flicking my hands, and showing other feminine mannerisms in public.  I have been wearing a bra because it feels so good on my jigglies and I want the outline of my bra strap and the cups to show.  I am more and more sistant with my wife because I need to be living separate from her so I can be in femme dress and smoking all the time.  And I am no longer attracted to pussy.  I want to be smoking delicious Virginia Slim 120s and my Mistress Alyssa'a juicy cock.  I need a place to start receiving all the girly clothes and makeup that I want to order through the mail.  I want to start ordering sissy dresses and satin maids dresses, and harem girl clothes and wigs through the mail.  I am most of the time sleeping in a nylon nighty, but eventually my wife will catch me and I'm afraid of her anger----I am such a sissy.  She doesn't know i smoke, and I want to start smoking all the time at home.  I want to become Mistress Alyssa's slave fetish smoking sissy girl n24/7 and to do everything she wants me to do.  I want to devote my all to her.

Dressing and Smoking Has Replaced Sex With my Wife For Me

Dressing in silky sheer slippery feminine things and smoking erotic addicting feminine Virginia Slim 120s is sex for me now.  I want it all the time.  And the need to dress and smoke is getting stronger and stronger.  I am in BLISS with so much pleasure as I sit here in my silky slippery frilly red blouse and skirt with black nylon smooth lacey slip and satiny bra and smooth silky nylon panties and smokey sheer shimmering nylon hose underneath, inhaling and exhaling creamy sexy white smoke from my delicious so erotic Virginia Slim 120.  And I crave sucking a cock now.  i no longer want pussy.  I want to dress and smoke and be the girl who i am all the time now.  I want to live as a fetish smoking sissy girl.

Had A Dream

Had such a vivid dream last night, and I even remembered it.  That is odd because I seldom remember much of a dream, and I remember this dream in so much detail.  It was a bit disconncerting anyway, as I woke up wearing my nylon baby doll nighty. Fortunately, the wife was still asleep.  I do remember putting on the nighty last night, and going outside to have a delicious feminine Virginia Slim 120. The smoke I inhale felt so wonderful in me, and I loved sucking on the long cigarette.  I was going to put on my pjs over my nighty because I just couldn't make myself take them off, but i think I lost focus and just climbed into bed (wife already asleep) with just my nighty on, and pulled the covers over me.  I'm ususally not that distracted.  I'm getting way too careless in my dressing!

In my dream, as I remember so clearly, I was laying in bed and in my boy-mode- even had on guys pjs, when I heard the doorbell ring.  I was worried that wife would hear, but she didnt wake up.  I answered the door, and it was my Mistress Alyssa at the door!  She took my hand in hers and suddenly we were at a beauty salon.  A very girly salon with lots of pinks and reds and cosmetics around.  Mistress gave me to a girl who took me to a beaticians chair and sat me down.  I was feeling so very relaxed.  This was after she had me take all my clothes off and gave me a pink fluffy robe to wear.  I think I almost melted into the chair, and felt almost in a trance.  My hair, which had gotten long, was cut and styled into a very feminine hair style.  While this was happening, another girl was shining and trimming my hand and toe nails into sparkling ovals.  Applying purplish red nail polish to them, and then laquer over them.  I was feeling so girly and submissive.  They had also put a pack of Virginia Slim 120s next to me on a table.  I had held the pack, loving the sound of the wrapping of the pack, and slipping out one of the long feminine cigarettes out of the pack.  I remember how much I enjoyed the process of getting the Smokey Treat out of its pack, and placing the yummy rod between my lips.  i held the match up and loved seeing the tip of the VS 120 turn cherry red.  It was so erotic as i sucked the blissful feeling smoke deep inside me.  I felt a little dizzy from inhaling so deeply, but it was a feeling that was wonderful.  I was so enjoying the cigarette, that I hardly noticed that the girls were done with me!  And I suddenly felt sooo very much a girl.  My puffy robe fell away and I saw that i now had, somehow a very feminine figure.  I already knew i had breasts, but now my fanny stuck out and I had very feminine curves.  For a moment I was almost horrified when I realized that my penis had disappeared, but I felt incredibly wonderful and erotic when I saw and felt my vagina.  I felt a wetness as I suddenly felt waves of pleasure going through me from my breasts and my vagina.  I was so happy and giggly to realize that i was finally completely the girl I have always been and wanted to be deep inside, but was too silly to admit to.  I think my dream must have ended about than, as I'm not sure I remember anything else.   But than,  I got such a warm and safe feeling that I was loving that I am now controlled so much by my Mistress Alyssa.  I love that she now controls me, and want her control to become even more complete

Want To Make Myself Pretty For Sissy Smoking Video

I had a blissful talk with my Mistress Alyssa yesterday.  I felt in heaven smoking Virginia Slim 120s with her.  It was sex, and than she let me suck her cock and I was taken to a place even more blissful than Heaven.  Mmmmm- to have her wonderful shaft going back and forth in my mouth.  And her exploding her cum into me.  I am now so much an extension of her.  Our talk ended too soon---I wanted to stay with her longer- smoke more delicious VS 120s as I felt the addiction to them getting stronger and stronger.  And it felt so nice, so right to be dressed in my red blouse and skirt over nylon black slip and bra.  I stayed dressed for a while.  I was so tranced I couldnt bring myself out of it.

Shopping was frustrating though.  It was raining heavy and difficult to get around.  The adult shop I went to did not have the things I thought it would, and had been told that it did.  No Sissy dresses.  Mostly just upscale things and not much help there.  I may need to order my dresses.  But, I need a place to receive them at.  I also need makeup and did not see what I wanted.  I still need to figure out all the things I need.  I want to start using make up to make myself pretty and feminine.  I so want to start maling videos for Mistress.  I will show myself on the videos being the submissive fetish smoking sissy girl who I am now.  I really want to start doing those.  The compulsions to dress and smoke and be the fetish smoking sissy girl more and more is getting so strong that I may need to find a new place to live.  Does anyone know a place for me?

Girl At work Wants To Quit Smoking And Me Too

Girl at work says she is trying to quit smoking, and says since i only smoke a few cigarettes a day right now, maybe I will want to quit altogether while it isnt too hard.  I told her that I'm fine--- that I'm not much of a smoker.  I'm not sure, but I think maybe I was lying to her.  Maybe i should encourageher to start smoking again?

I am thinking that i might want my own place soon.  But, I might need more money.  Thinking about getrting a second job.  Would love to work as a girl.  But, not ready to pass.  I have been thinking of trying to do a video for my Mistress Alyssa, while I'm smoking Virginia Slim 120s, and very femmme.  Wearing a silky dress and with make up on.  Haven't had much time this week, but off tomorrow so I can look for some nice make up.  Maybe also go to a shop that might have sissy dresses.   mmmmmm.  Also want a new butt plug.  Have heard from the guy who wants me as his girlfriend, but I dont think my Mistresss wants me to see him.  Saw a doctoron the web in Los Angeles who does hormones, but I already have breasts.

Accepting That I Am A Smoking Sissy

It was no panties Wednesday, and I realized that I want more and more changes.  I know that I wear sissy lingerie, but now I really want to be a sissy girl in all ways.  I think I need soon to start wearing bits of makeup at all times.  I actually called a divorce lawyer's phone but hung up before I talked.  But, I still have the number...

Choose Wife or Virginia (Slim 120s)

Wife hates smoking.  Do I love Virginia Slim 120s more than my wife?  Smoking makes me feel so much a submissive sissy girl that maybe I don't want a wife anymore.  Maybe I'd rather be a wife myself.  Maybe I crave smoking more than my wife?  I am certainly craving wearing a silky dress or a sheer blouse and a twirly skirt, nylon panties, nylon slip, nylon hose, and of course a bra to hold my breasts in.  And to be dressed and smoking...  And I really want to suck a cock.  Am I too addicted now to dressing and smoking to even need a wife?

Need Time T Complete Smoking Sissy Conversion

Thinking of getting a hotel room for a couple of days just to be a sissy smoking girl.  Get dressed, practice putting on makeup, and smoke till I m completely addicted.  It actually sounds wonderful to me.  I wish I had a place to get my sissy things mailed to.  Maybe a friend can help?  Is there a friend out there?  Somebody that rreads this?  Another of Mistress Alyssa's sissies?  I guess I'm being silly.  It feels so good to have my breasts jiggle.  Giggle, oooo. They feel and look so nice.  I am at 5 cigarettes a day.  I could smoke more, and I want to, but I'm holding off a complete addiction for a little while longer.  I think I'm going to have a feminine Virginia Slim 120 before I go to bed.  I want to curl up in a silky nightie and suck on a cock.

Becoming Deeply Addicted To Smoking and to Dressing

My addictions to both smoking Virginia Slim 120s and wearing silky dresses and other sexy femme things is growing each day.  Seemed to grow more today.  It feel the cravings and pleasure to dress and to smoke get so much stronger today.  And I increased my number of cigarettes that I smoked today to 5.  Its getting harder to play the charade of being a guy and non-smoker.  I find myself day dreaming about sucking my Mistress Alyssa's cock, too.

New Shopping List

I need to go shopping tomorrow.  I need some very silky thigh high nylons; a short chiffon skirt; complete set of make up.  I'm not sure what colors I will get for my make-up, but will figure it out.  Maybe dark red lipstick or red plum.  I could also use a new bra, and there is a place that I want to check for satin maids or sissy dresses.  I am always looking for silky slippery dresses, maybe one with a short skirt.  I also need a new dildo.  Or, and I need to pick up a new pack of Virginia Slim 120s.   Anything else?   Hmmmm....

I Feel So Wonderful wearing a dress

is past few days I have spent a lot of time wearing a dress or silky sheer blouse and skirt.  And it feels so good to be dressed like this.  I even love the way i feel the constriction of my bra.  I want to dress this way all the time.  Wish i didn't have to wear anymore boy clothes.  Met a guy and i felt so much like a girl with him.  We kissed and i was in heaven.  But, i stopped him there, but i wanted to go much further.  I will need to check with my Mistress Alyssa to see if this is ok.

It's No Panties Wednesday Tomorrow But I'm Home

I would wear no panties tomorrow, but nylons garter and a cami, but I'm at home tomorrow.  I have a much of chores I should do tomorrow, but I am feeling a strong urge to put on a dress and be a fetish smoking sissy girl tomorrow all day.  Some friends who I used to like want me to play golf tomorrow.  I used to love to play golf, but I seem to have more feelings of being a smoking girly.  Nothing else seems that important, but perhaps I should get out and try to be with old friends and do something I used to like to do very much.  I don't know.  When I try to think about those things my head fills up with thoughts of Mistress Alyssa, Virginia Slim 120s, silky shiny satiny clothes, dressing femme, and sucking cock.  Do I really need to wear a bra when I golf.  Are my breasts real?  Sometimes, more and more actually they feel real, but maybe if I get out with friends those feelings will stop.

Need To Change This

I am trying to figure out how to change the form on this.  Anyone have some ideas.  Needs To Become girly- like how I am changing.  And i am changing now.  Who is following my blog?  Say hi.

One Sissy Step After The Next

I can't believe that I am slowly but surely transforming into a submissive fetish smoking sissy girl, but I am taking one step after the next down the path of becoming a complete smoking sissy girl.  I painted my toenails with clear polish today.  They are so smooth and shiny now.  They are actually very sparkly.  I feel so girly looking at my feet now, and I love them that way.  I every once have a thought that I am going too far in my feminine transformation, but those thoughts fade away and I just want to keep doing things that will eventually end in my complete feminization and sissification.  And smoking Virginia Slim 120s feels so wonderful.  I feel so submissive, so controlled, so girly, and becoming more addicted after each time i inhale the sweet feminine addicting trancing white creamy smoke.

Got Nail Polish Today

Stopped off at pharmacy and picked up bottle of clear nail polish.  Probably wasn't the best selection, but I knew I needed to get some today, and was the only place I could get to.  Maybe after i start painting all my nails, I will find a better place.  I will apply the clear polish to my toenails.  Pretty paited toenails will feell so pretty and girly.  I looked around for some girls to join at a smoking break at work, but not sure yet.  I wish I could wear a dress or a skirt and blouse like the other girls.  Smoked a delicious smokey treat by myself today.  I did feel so submissive and sissy girlish as I smoked and after.  Felt very girly in a lacy bra, nylons, nylon panties and a slip.  Remembered that I had sucked my Mistress Alyssa's cock this morning.   mmmmm .  I loved it.  I really don't need pussy anymore.  I think soon I will be wearing a slave collar, but not yet ready for that.  Will be the point of no return.

Bliss Of Cigarette Smooths Doubts

I was sitting in my new office on No Panties Wednesday feeling a bit doubtful about being the feminine fetish smoking sissy I know I am.  I put on my jacket went went outside to enjoy a nice sweet Virginia Slim 120.  After a few long drags, inhaling creamy white smoke, I started feeling dreamy, and very submissive and girly.  mmmmmm. Felt myself drift into a bit of a daze.  I reached inside my shirt to feel my boobs and my lacy bra that i was wearing to support them.  My doubts of being a smoking sissy girl faded away.

1ST No Panties Wednesday At This Place

Haven't been at this office very long.  Not sure how far I can and should go with things.  It's No Panties Wednesday so I will wear a garter and nylons.  Getting cooler so easier to wear a cami.  I need a new bra.  Broke the strap on the one i really like. My boobs need to be in a bra.  I love the support I get from a bra and I love the way its outline shows against my shirt if I'm not careful.  Need to find the smoking girls group, and if they will accept me.  Maybe I should just retire and be the fetish smoking sissy girl I am all the time.  Start wearing sissy dresses all the time.

Getting Back To Becoming A Smoking Sissy

Was out of town for the weekend, and wasn't able to be the fetish smoking sissy girl I am, and need to become more of.  Couldn't even wear panties!  I had to buy some cotton boxers to wear. Yuck!  Did get a few smokes of my delicious Virginia Slim 120s, but have not been able to immerse myself into becoming completely addicted to smoking cigarettes like I must become---like I want to become.  So i can't go very long without a total craving for a cigarette.  I must be somewhat a non-addictive type since I'm not yet completely addicted.  What i really felt bad about was not being ablt to blog.  i really needed to write my blog, but didn't have a computer.  It was awful!  Am I addicted to blogging that I feel the need so much?  And it was terrible not dressing in silky slippery sheer feminine things.  I want to get divorced so I can be a girly submissive smoking sissy when I'm home all the time.  Not to mention I need to smoke a cock.  It was such bliss sucking my Mistress Alyssa's cock.  It was my first time and I loved it.  Now i must get makeup and a sissy wig this week.  And soon a shiny, silky satin sissy dress.  And I really want to do a video dressed and smoking Virginia Slim 120s showing everyone that I am Mistress Alyssa fetish smoking submissive sissy girl.

I Am All Sissy Smoking Girl Now

I am Mistress Alyssa's submissive fetish smoking sissy girl completely.  I sucked Mistress Alyssa's cock while smoking a Virginia Slim 120 tonight and it was the most wonderful sex I have ever had.  I only want to do as my Mistress Alyssa says now.  I have been wearing a dress all evening and I don't want to take it off.  I think I will have another delicious smokey treat (VS 120) and try to think why I should take it and my bra and panties and slip off.  I can't wait to get a satin shiny frilly sissy dress to wear tooo.  May I need to get a lacy collar to wear too.  And I want to do videos for Mistress Alyssa while wearing a sissy dress, make-up so im feminine and pretty and a sissy wig.  I need to find a place to get the dresses.  I just live for when I can be with my Mistress Alyssa again.  I will do lots of videos for her and I will show how much a fetish smoking sissy girl I have become.

Changing Offices- Should I Change Gender too?

Had to move to a different office site.  I was a group of the girls smoking group, but not sure at this new location.  I have started to act a bit sissy and girly, so I might be thought to be gay.Well, I guess I do think about guys now more and more, but I want to be a woman with them.  I want to smoke a Virginia Slim 120 and suck a cock at the same time.  Thinking of just telling everyone I'm transgender and start living as a girl.  But, I need to get a divorce.  Anyone know how to do that?  Should I?  I have to be careful asking for suggestions because I am so suggestible.  I need to get a sissy wig, a sissy dress, and make-up so I can do a submissive fetish smoking sissy girl video.  I'm not sure why I feel so strongly that this is something i really want to do, but the idea keeps popping into my head.  This is No Panties Wednesday, so I am wearing a garter, nylons, and camisole.   mmmmm- I am so sissy and girly.

Calming Cigarettes/Shiny Sissy Dresses

Whenever I start feeling doubtful about my feminization, I have a delicious Virginia Slim 120s and my doubts fade  away and I have a blissful feminine moment.  And just if I want to feel more feminine, more sissy, more girly, more submissive, I have started to smoke a delicious smoke and I inhale and feel the creamy white smoke working its magic on me.

And I have started dreaming of wearing a shiny, silky, satiny sissy dress and a frilly sissy collar.  What does that mean?

Had A Wonderful Smoking Dressing Session With My Mistress Alyssa

I am still feeling tranced and dreamy and blissful after my wonderful session with my Mistress Alyssa.  She asked me what I wanted.  I was at first confused for reasons I can't even remember now, but I of course want only to be Mistress Alyssa's fetish smoking sissy girl.  I want to be melinda and replace my last name with hers.  I had put on a silky slippery red dress, bra, panties, and slip on this morning, and felt compelled to say hi to Mistress Alyssa.  I had stopped smoking, but when she mentioned my smokey treats, Virginia Slim 120s, I knew that I had to smoke one.  I smoked many of them with her, and each drag washed away everything but the desire to take the delicious white creamy smoke from the cigarettes inside me, and increased my addiction to be dressed.  I felt so blissful.  The feelings of submissiveness and the need to dress and smoke and obey overwhelmed everything else.  I knew I wanted to be a girl more than anything.  I want to start wearing makeup, to wear feminine clothes all the time, to suck cock, to act like a girl, and to be more and more addicted to dressing and smoking.  If Mistress decides that I should be castrated and take hormones, I will want that too.  My session with Mistress Alyssa was sex to me.  Each drag of my delicious Virginia Slim 120 put me further in a trance and any doubts of being anything but Mistress Alyssa's fetish smoking sissy girl disappeared.  I will be looking at photos of T-Girls smoking today, so that I can copy them.  After my session, I knew I could barely wait to have my next session with Mistress Alyssa.  i am addicted to her now, just as I will soon be addicted to smoking Virginia Slim 120s.  And I kneeled in front of Mistress Alyssa, the skirts of my dress under me, and I sucked Mistress Alyssa's delicious mesmerizing cock.  I can't wait to do more of that.  The need to obey, dress, and smoke are so strong with me now. 

I Am Sorry Mistress Alyssa

I am so sorry my Mistress Alyssa.  I was being a silly bad girl, thinking that I would try not to smoke and to dress and obey my Mistress Alyssa.  I am Mistress Alyssa's fetish smoking sissy girl, and that whom I am, whom I want to be, and I was being silly to try to not to be melinda.  I am melinda and I love that I am a girl.  And I love smoking Virginia Slim 120s, and holding them like the girl I really am.  I know that each time I smoke, I become more addicted and I want to be addicted.  I am becoming more and more a sissy girl, and I will probably wear a sissy collar to show that I belong completely to my Mistress Alyssa.  I will eventually kneel before her and suck my Mistress's cock.  I have never sucked a cock before, but I will not hesitate if she decides that I should do this.  I am smoking a delicious Virginia Slim 120 right now, and it makes me feel so submissive, so girly, so obediant, and pushes my addiction to smoke cigarettes and to dress- i am wearing my red silky dress right now with black bra, black panties and black slip on, and to be the fetish smoking sissy girl who i really am.  And I want my Mistress Alyssa to mold me so i will be that sissy girl all the time.  I will smoke and dress and be a sissy so that I am completely addicted to smoking and dressing.  I will obey and become the fetish smoking sissy girl that I want to be.  I want Mistress Alyssa to own me, and i will leave everything else to become her girl.  That is what I hope she will do to me, and I am doing to myself right now.  As I take another deep drag off my Virginia Slim 120 and take the creamy sexy smoke deep inside me, it is transforming me into a smoking addicted sissy girl who needs to smoke and dress in silky frilly shiny feminine skirts and blouses and dresses and lingedrie and nightgowns, and to obey my Mistress Alyssa.

Need To Do Photos

I got pulled away and wasn't able to work on taking and sending photos of my polished toenails.  I feel awful that I didn't get it done.  I need to be a better girl.  I want to start my transition into becoming a transgender woman and I need to do the things my Mistress Alyssa tells me.  Good girls obey.  I am a good girl.  I obey.  I stopped smoking but I need to start up again so I can become completely Mistress Alyssa's fetish smoking sissy girl.

I Want To Be The T-Mobile Girl

I love the T-Mobile Girl.  I want to be her.  I especially love her shiny red dress.  I love her figure.  I love her feminine mannerisms.  Maybe it's know ing that I can't be her that is pushing me to stop continuing dow the road of feminization.  And people telling me that I shouldn't smoke.  Smoking those delicious Virginia Slim 120s make me feel so girly, and so submissive, and I feel like I'm having sex while I'm smoking.  If I am ever to return to being a guy, I need to not smoke anymore.  At least I have stopped for now.  Now if I could just get rid of these breastrs that I have grown somehow!

Idea of Doing A Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl Video

The idea of doing a video of me smoking a Virginia Slim 120 cigarette while dressed very femme keeps popping into my head.  Not sure why that idea keeps coming to me, but getting stronger and stronger feelings of the desire to do that.

Felt not normal to not be sleeping in a silky nightie last night, after spending a week going to bed wearing one.  Maybe just realizing how much I love being a girl.

Need to go out and get some pink lipstick and clear nail polish today.

Living as melinda

I lived as melinda a lot on my trip.  It was intoxicating getting into bed every night in a silky sexy feminine nylon nightie.  A long night gown and a so sweet baby doll.  Feeling my breasts in their bra against the sheets.  mmmmmm.  Blisss.  So much pleasure.  I love being Mistress Alyssa's feminine Fetish Smoking sissy girl.  During parts of the day, I wore my silky polyester red dress (actually separates), nylons, panties, slip, bra.... blisss.  I want more!   I smoked my feminine Virginia Slim 120s, but nearly as much as I wanted as it was a no smoking room.  I want to get a room where I can smoke a whole day, dressed and being femme.  Does anyone out there have a place that I could do that?  Looking for in So Cal area.

Snuck A Smoke At Dinner

Went out to dinner with friends.  Snuck outside for a smoke.  Wished I was wearing a dress to go out in.  Felt odd not wearing a bra for my breasts.  Feel a bit dreamy lately.  Just thoughts of my Mistress and how I keep feeling more and more submissive and girly.

Was In A Wonderful Place Talking To Mistress Alyssa

I was feeling so wonderful talking to my Mistress Alyssa today.  I just felt so wonderful, submissive and girly hearing her words in my mind.  Mistress Alyssa had just had me smoke a delicious Virginia Slim 120 cigarette, and I was happy to obey her.  Smoking the cigarette had felt just like having sex, I wanted it to go on and on.  I was dazed how much I was loving it.  I don't really remember my talk with Mistress Alyssa, just that I was feeling so good.  My wonderful state was disturbed unfortunately and I wish I could have stayed forever in that state with my Mistress.  I crave getting back to her now. 

I Need To Wear A Bra Now

I'm not sure what happened, but while I was enjoying my sweet feminine Virginia Slim 120s, I was feeling especially submissive and girly.  I noticed that my nipples had become very sensitive and I now had breasts!  And I love that I have them!  I am such a girl!  They were pushing out and filling out the front of my nightgown.  I need to start wearing a bra all the time to keep my new boobies in place!  I can't wait to tell Mistress Alyssa about how I now have breasts.

Getting In Deeper and Deeper

After a sweet talk with my Mistress Alyssa, I had a wonderful Virginia Slim 120.  Mmmmmm I did enjoy it, although I had to go on a walk to be able to smoke so wife would not see me.  I guess I haven't given completely up on my marriage, but it means less to me each day.  As much as I have thought to put the breaks to my feminization, my smoking, my feelings of submissiveness toward my Mistress Alyssa, I am falling deeper under her control everyday it seems.  I have always thought I could stop all this at any point I chose to, but I'm not so sure anymore.  I think about maybe taking a break from the feminization and sissification process, but I can feel myself going a little further each day, and I lose all resolve I had to take a break whenever I talk to Mistress Alyssa.  I was trying to stop smoking before I truly became addicted, but when I talk to Mistress, I want to go forward in establishing becoming a complete addiction as a smoking girl.  I have even been dreaming in wearing a frilly sissy collar to show that I belong to Mistress Alyssa, although I think that is a ways off if it ever happens.  I have a few thoughts left of stopping this, but I think Mistress Alyssa controls me too much now for me to do anything but what she decides for me.

Short No Panties Wednesday

I came home just after lunch and missed smoke break with the other girls.  I sense that I am moving exactly as I'm told to by Mistress Alyssa, and realize that I must not go much further or I will soon be all sissy fetish smoking girl under the complete control of Mistress Alyssa.  I don't think I'm yet addicted to smoking but many more sessions with my Mistress will change that I believe. I have resisted smoking more than 7 cigarettes in a day for several days, but I don't know how long Mistress Alyssa will allow that. I want to be the submissive fetish smoking sissy girl completely submitted to my Mistress Alyssa that I am, but I still have a very small voice saying that I can't give in coimpletely--- that i should stay mostly living as a guy.  I don't know how much longer I will hear that small voice and how long before I start liviung 24/7 as Mistress Alyssa's smoking sissy.  The urges to smoke, dress, and have a cock in me keep becoming stronger and more insistant.

I Am Mistress Alyssa's Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl But Still Feeling Conflicted

I want to be a girl, I am a girl, but I still feel hesitation to move forward in my feminization.  I started to put clear coat nail polish on my nails, but chickened out after 2 nails on each hand. How much further can I go before wifey notices.  It will not be good if she does.  But, I already love Mistress Alyssa more than my wifey.  And everytime I see Mistress Alyssa online I become submissive.  I have to go away next week on a business trip.  I'm not sure how I am to work that.  Will I try to be girly as much as I can?  Or try to just be a man while away?  Wear a nylon nightie to bed or mens pajamas?  I am finding that I am less and less sure of myself.  That I look for guideance from Mistress Alyssa.  When I'm on my cam with Mistress Alyssa, I am completely under her control.  I feel filled up with her, her thoughts, her plans for me. 

Was More Femme At Work

I am acting like a girl at work now.  I think some think I am Gay.  The other girls who I joined for a smoke break want to see me switch to wearing dresses or skirt and blouse.  But, I'm not anywhere near femme enough for that yet.  Actually only smoked a couple of cigarettes today.  I think I was a bit sick from smoking too many of those delicious Virginia Slim 120s over the weekend.  I decided I needed to slow down on my smoking, but they make me feel so sexy and femme. 

My name is melinda and i am Mistress Alyssa submissive fetish smoking sissy girl

I had thoughts of wanting to take a break from trying smoking and dressing, but I had a session with my beloved Mistress Alyssa today and I barely even remember having those thoughts.  I was such a silly girl.  I know after my Mistress conditioned me today that I love smoking my delicious Virginia Slim 120s.  Smoking cigarettes are like sex for me.  I even had a couple of organisms while smoking.  Just like I'm smoking a sweet Virginia Slim 120 right now as I write my blog.  I also enjoyed wearing my anal plug while smoking and listening to my Mistress---it was sex!  I was dressed like the girl I am should be, wearing a silky sheer red dress (actually seperates), a white slip, a black bra, pink nylon panties, and silky sheer black pull up nylons.  I later changed into my long negligee. i could feel that I was a girl.  All the boy drained out of me, with each drag of my smokey treat.  mmmmm, I think I'll take a nice drag now.  My thoughts have been replaced by the ones Mistress Alyssa has decided for me.  My only true wish right now is to become more a completely submissive smoking sissy girl for my Mistress.  I want to wear a sissy collar for my Mistress and to be completely obedient to her.  I don't belong with a wife anymore, I need to be living 24/7 as Mistress Alyssa's submissive fetish smoking sissy girl.  I want to learn to wear make up and suck the cocks Mistress Alyssa decides for me.  I will become addicted to smoking and dressing feminine all the time.  I want only skirts and blouses and dresses hanging in my closet.  Only lingerie in my drawers.  And always a pack of Virginia 120s with me.  I keep thinking, good girls obey, i am a good girl, i obey.

Everyday I Am More A Smoker, More A Girl, More A Sissy

I wore no panties, but wore a slip and nylon hose yesterday.  And it felt right except I wanted to be completely dressed as a girl.  I smoked 7 sweet Virginia Slim 120s today, just like I did yesterday.  But, I could feel more the addiction today.  I was more of a smoker today.  I asked the girls to show me how to inhale the creamy white smoke, but I think we giggled about it more than we inhaled.  one of the girls said that maybe I should start wearing a dress and makeup. I thought that I would be horrified by her saying that, but I loved it!  I become more and more submissive.  I know that I am a sissy and i belong wearing dresses.  I still go back to my office and think that I need to take a break from all of this.  I need to not be a girl, not be a smoker, for a while to let my thoughts resurface after being completely remade by my Mistress Alyssa.  I just want to please her now, and I no longer can think for myself very well.  Each cigarette I smoke makes me want to be more Mistress Alyssa's feminine submissive fetish smoking sissy girl.  And I am more and more addicted to being this as i continue to smoke.  I should ask Mistress if I can take a break....

How Far Do I Go?

I am feeling more a fetish smoking sissy girl all the time, but I am wondering how far that I am going in this feminization transformation.  I have gone from a person completely against smoking to a light smoker who feels so feminine so girly so submissive and so wonderful when I do smoke.And I am feeling a need to become even more a smoker.  I want to become addicted.   I just finished a creamy smoke tastey Virginia Slim 120 and I was in a trance while I smoked.  I had been getting nervous about being a sissy and feminine and smoking but Mistress Alyssa talked to me and all I really remember is how much smoking makes me feel so pleasureable and needing to be submissive and femme and sissified.  I find myself fantasizing about wearing a collar for my Mistress Alyssa.  See--- I am already thinking of taking things much further.  But when I talk to my Mistress all my doubts disappear.  But, if I go much further I will need to start living as a submissive fetish smoking sissy.

Masturbating While Smoking

After a wonderful talk with my Mistress Alyssa late last night, I had to smoke a delicious Virginia Slim 120.  After putting on a silky Baby Doll nightie, I got out my cigarettes and pulled one of the smoket treats out.  And because a cigarette makes me feel so much like the submissive feminine sissy fetish smoking girl I am, I proceeded to masturbate.  It felt so erotic.  I got high and needed to keep doing it.  The whole thing---smoking, rubbing my clitty, dressed so femininely, was stars going off in my head.  It was only because I am so obediant to my Mistress Alyssa that I stopped before I had cum.  I want to do that agin very soon.

I Am A Bad Girl

 I am so sorry.  I have not been doing my blog.  Have not been on this computer since Sunday.  Getting home late from work.  Maybe will retire soon and start living as a Fetish Smoking Girl all the time.  I have been feeling the need to dress in my silky sheer girly things.  It was No Pantys Wednesday, and I wore thigh high nylons and a cami as my Mistress Alyssa has instructed me to.  Been smoking my delicious feminine Virginia Slim 120s, but I think I need to increase the number that I am smoking.  I'm not sure how many cigarettes my Mistress has decided I will smoke a day, but I'm fairly certain it will be more than the 3 or 4 I have been.  I have been holding back but I can't feel the urge to smoke more getting stronger.  I also need to learn to put on make-up, as i want to be a pretty girl and attract men because I really need to start sucking on cocks.  I can see myself as eventually living full-time as a smoking girl with a man of my own when my Mistress Alysssa decides I am ready.

Wednesday Is No Panties Day

On Wednesday, I wore no panties.  I did wear thigh high stockings, a bra and a feminine polyester pale yellow camisole.  I spent most of my day in my office because I thought my cami and bra would show through my shirt.  It will be so much better when I start wearing silky sheer blouses and I want my bra to show through.  Just wore panties today.  Had my Virginia Slim 120s but didn't join the other girls at breaks.  Was busy and seeing if I could control my smoking.  I wanted a cigarette, but held off until smoking one after work.  Watched the makeup video script today.  I will learn to do my own make up I know.  I need to ask my Mistress Alyssa the other videos that she wants me to watch as they were deleted and i can't find them.  I know that I am Alyssa's Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl and that I need to start transforming soon.  I know that is what i want.

I Need A Cock In Me

I can't stop thinking about smoking sweet creamy Virginia Slim 120s and how pleasureable it is to suck on them, and how much I want to suck on a cock too so I will be completely girly.  I no longer doubt that i am going to chose to live as a feminine Fetish Smoking Girly Sissy, and that I want to become a 2-pack a-day smoking girl for my Mistress Alyssa.  I have been too busy at work to join the other girls at smoking breaks, but I feel the need to be with them and to start increasing my addiction and craving to smoke cigarettes.  I think that the girls think I'm gay and want to encourage me to start dating guys.  I do want to date guys and have them put their delicious hard cocks into my mouth and rear pussy hole, but I am a girl so I need guys!  I have felt so strongly this way since i talked to my Mistress Alyssa on the weekend, but it is funny that I don't remember a lot of what we were talking about.  Just was feeling so wonderful and loving smoking Virginia Slim 120s and being so girly in a polyester matching blouses and long skirt.

I Choose To Be Transformed Into Mistress Alyssa's Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl

I had been thinking that I should stay a guy, but after a wonderful talk with my beautiful Mistress Alyssa, I know that I must become a Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl.  I was talking to Mistress Alyssa, and I was feeling so relaxed that it became easy for me to realize that I am really a girl and how much I love to smoke delicious Virginia Slim 120s and how erotic and feminine they make me feel. I was trying to smoke just a few cigarettes from time to time, but Mistress helped me enjoy some with her while I was dressed so femininely in a red silky skirt and blouse, and I want to become completely addicted to smoking and that I want to become a 2 pack a day girl smoker.  I don't remember how the feeling became so strong the other day, but suddenly I just knew that my decision was to completely give myself over to Mistress Alyssa so that she could transform me into a totla Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl.  I know that I want to give up everything else in my life so that I can be the best smoking girl I can be.

Need My Virginia Slim 120s

Was thinking that I was going to go a day without smoking, but was in my panties and realized that I am a smoking girl and I need to smoke.  I will go to the store and buy a pack.  I was being so silly.  i love smoking my VS 120s and feeling submissive and girly.  I also need a cock to suck and to put in my pussy hole because I am a girl and I need that.  Maybe my Mistress Alyssa will find a man for me.  I will stop trying to be a guy and get going to complete my feminine transformation.

Was Gone On Business- Tried To stop the feminization and smoking

Was away, and tried to reverse my feminization and from becoming a smoker.  Came back and talked to my Mistress Alyssa and the need to wear panties and smoke delicious Virginia Slim 120s came back even stronger.  Thinking that I will just get divorced and begin living full-time as my Mistress's smoking girl.  I bought mens cotton boxer shorts to wear, but i cannot resist my nylon girly panties.  i have tried to hold off getting a pack of VS 120s but I can't stop thinking about them. 

I Am An Obediant Girl

I obeyed my Mistress Alyssa and added Yahoo Beta Messinger.  I am Mistress's good girl and i obey.  I had to take the Messinger off, because it wasn't working right.  My video cam was showing me in my silky polyester red dress, which almost put me in a trance watching.  Couldn't get other functions working at all the same time.  Also don't wan't Messinger to show when I'm not in Yahoo.  After I am living on my own as Mistress Alyssa's fetish smoking girl, than it will be alright.  Ran out of delicious Virginia Slim 120s.  I was home, so I smoked more.  I may need to keep smoking more, even at work.  Gives me so much pleasure, and I realize I am really a girl and I need to be controlled.

Make Up Is Wonderful

I never realized how wonderful make up is.  I just have to start wearing it.  Lipstick, eyeliner, blush, mascara!  I hardly know where to start.  I just know I have to start wearing it.  I can't decide what I want more---to start leaving my red lipstick on one of my Virginia Slim 120s as I smoke it, or on a man's cock as I'm sucking on it.  Will probably be a cigarette first, because I haven't become the cock sucking girl I need to be yet, but i am very much a smoking girl!  And I want to be more and more girly.  Need to let the girls on the smoke breaks i really am one of them.  Will start wearing nylon hose with no socks.  Need to start wearing make up---maybe a little bit at a time.  I so want to be a girl!  I need to find a cock to suck.  Any volunteers out there want to start me off?  You know i will need to have a sexy feminine Virginia Slim 120 right after.  Maybe we can smoke together?!

Joined the other girls on smoke breaks

I started smoking with the other girls on breaks today.  They thought i fit in perfect.  A couple said that they always felt I was like another girlfriend.  Of course, I had boy clothes on on the outside.  But was wearing nylon panties a smooth silky cami and nylon pantyhose underneath'  I couldn't help swishing today when i walked.  Felt so much pleasure smoking the Virginia Slim 120s.  one of the girls said I was smoking a girly cigarette, and I felt good about it.  Maybe one day i will be in a skirt and a blouse smoking with them.  It feels like a strong fetish now to be smoking---i can't control it anymore.  I smoked 4 cigarettes today, and I know i will soon be smoking more.  Taste so good, and I think about their taste.  Just like I think about dressing more and being more feminine and wanting to obey my Mistress Alyssa.Found myself looking through the Divorce Magazine.  Hmmmm.

Have I Been Conditioned Too Deep As A Smoking Girl To Stop?

I am trying to consider being male, but I am a smoking girl now, and I love smoking Virginia Slim 120s and I love wearing a dress and being girly.  My conditioning and shaping by Mistress Alyssa is so deep and strong and I can only be what she decides for me.  I am so submissive to my Mistress Alyssa and obey her completely.  I am a submissive femme smoking girl.

Message to my sweet Mistress Alyssa

It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is
impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa'a Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.  It is
impolite to leave without Mistress Alyssa's Permission.  I will not leave without her permission.

I Am Alyssa's Smoking Girl Now

I was a guy but my Mistress Alyssa has begun my feminization and I am transforming into a girl.  She is also turning me into a smoker.  I now crave cigarettes.  I smoked for the first time today. At first I resisted, but Mistress Alyssa controls me and I have to obey. Mistress Alyssa has also conditioned me to want to suck cocks.  I love smoking my Virginia Slim 120s.  The white creamy smoke makes me feel so erotic and girly.  I am looking for a dildo today so I can start practicing sucking cock, as I have never done that either.