Getting In Deeper and Deeper

After a sweet talk with my Mistress Alyssa, I had a wonderful Virginia Slim 120.  Mmmmmm I did enjoy it, although I had to go on a walk to be able to smoke so wife would not see me.  I guess I haven't given completely up on my marriage, but it means less to me each day.  As much as I have thought to put the breaks to my feminization, my smoking, my feelings of submissiveness toward my Mistress Alyssa, I am falling deeper under her control everyday it seems.  I have always thought I could stop all this at any point I chose to, but I'm not so sure anymore.  I think about maybe taking a break from the feminization and sissification process, but I can feel myself going a little further each day, and I lose all resolve I had to take a break whenever I talk to Mistress Alyssa.  I was trying to stop smoking before I truly became addicted, but when I talk to Mistress, I want to go forward in establishing becoming a complete addiction as a smoking girl.  I have even been dreaming in wearing a frilly sissy collar to show that I belong to Mistress Alyssa, although I think that is a ways off if it ever happens.  I have a few thoughts left of stopping this, but I think Mistress Alyssa controls me too much now for me to do anything but what she decides for me.