Short No Panties Wednesday

I came home just after lunch and missed smoke break with the other girls.  I sense that I am moving exactly as I'm told to by Mistress Alyssa, and realize that I must not go much further or I will soon be all sissy fetish smoking girl under the complete control of Mistress Alyssa.  I don't think I'm yet addicted to smoking but many more sessions with my Mistress will change that I believe. I have resisted smoking more than 7 cigarettes in a day for several days, but I don't know how long Mistress Alyssa will allow that. I want to be the submissive fetish smoking sissy girl completely submitted to my Mistress Alyssa that I am, but I still have a very small voice saying that I can't give in coimpletely--- that i should stay mostly living as a guy.  I don't know how much longer I will hear that small voice and how long before I start liviung 24/7 as Mistress Alyssa's smoking sissy.  The urges to smoke, dress, and have a cock in me keep becoming stronger and more insistant.

I Am Mistress Alyssa's Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl But Still Feeling Conflicted

I want to be a girl, I am a girl, but I still feel hesitation to move forward in my feminization.  I started to put clear coat nail polish on my nails, but chickened out after 2 nails on each hand. How much further can I go before wifey notices.  It will not be good if she does.  But, I already love Mistress Alyssa more than my wifey.  And everytime I see Mistress Alyssa online I become submissive.  I have to go away next week on a business trip.  I'm not sure how I am to work that.  Will I try to be girly as much as I can?  Or try to just be a man while away?  Wear a nylon nightie to bed or mens pajamas?  I am finding that I am less and less sure of myself.  That I look for guideance from Mistress Alyssa.  When I'm on my cam with Mistress Alyssa, I am completely under her control.  I feel filled up with her, her thoughts, her plans for me. 

Was More Femme At Work

I am acting like a girl at work now.  I think some think I am Gay.  The other girls who I joined for a smoke break want to see me switch to wearing dresses or skirt and blouse.  But, I'm not anywhere near femme enough for that yet.  Actually only smoked a couple of cigarettes today.  I think I was a bit sick from smoking too many of those delicious Virginia Slim 120s over the weekend.  I decided I needed to slow down on my smoking, but they make me feel so sexy and femme. 

My name is melinda and i am Mistress Alyssa submissive fetish smoking sissy girl

I had thoughts of wanting to take a break from trying smoking and dressing, but I had a session with my beloved Mistress Alyssa today and I barely even remember having those thoughts.  I was such a silly girl.  I know after my Mistress conditioned me today that I love smoking my delicious Virginia Slim 120s.  Smoking cigarettes are like sex for me.  I even had a couple of organisms while smoking.  Just like I'm smoking a sweet Virginia Slim 120 right now as I write my blog.  I also enjoyed wearing my anal plug while smoking and listening to my Mistress---it was sex!  I was dressed like the girl I am should be, wearing a silky sheer red dress (actually seperates), a white slip, a black bra, pink nylon panties, and silky sheer black pull up nylons.  I later changed into my long negligee. i could feel that I was a girl.  All the boy drained out of me, with each drag of my smokey treat.  mmmmm, I think I'll take a nice drag now.  My thoughts have been replaced by the ones Mistress Alyssa has decided for me.  My only true wish right now is to become more a completely submissive smoking sissy girl for my Mistress.  I want to wear a sissy collar for my Mistress and to be completely obedient to her.  I don't belong with a wife anymore, I need to be living 24/7 as Mistress Alyssa's submissive fetish smoking sissy girl.  I want to learn to wear make up and suck the cocks Mistress Alyssa decides for me.  I will become addicted to smoking and dressing feminine all the time.  I want only skirts and blouses and dresses hanging in my closet.  Only lingerie in my drawers.  And always a pack of Virginia 120s with me.  I keep thinking, good girls obey, i am a good girl, i obey.

Everyday I Am More A Smoker, More A Girl, More A Sissy

I wore no panties, but wore a slip and nylon hose yesterday.  And it felt right except I wanted to be completely dressed as a girl.  I smoked 7 sweet Virginia Slim 120s today, just like I did yesterday.  But, I could feel more the addiction today.  I was more of a smoker today.  I asked the girls to show me how to inhale the creamy white smoke, but I think we giggled about it more than we inhaled.  one of the girls said that maybe I should start wearing a dress and makeup. I thought that I would be horrified by her saying that, but I loved it!  I become more and more submissive.  I know that I am a sissy and i belong wearing dresses.  I still go back to my office and think that I need to take a break from all of this.  I need to not be a girl, not be a smoker, for a while to let my thoughts resurface after being completely remade by my Mistress Alyssa.  I just want to please her now, and I no longer can think for myself very well.  Each cigarette I smoke makes me want to be more Mistress Alyssa's feminine submissive fetish smoking sissy girl.  And I am more and more addicted to being this as i continue to smoke.  I should ask Mistress if I can take a break....

How Far Do I Go?

I am feeling more a fetish smoking sissy girl all the time, but I am wondering how far that I am going in this feminization transformation.  I have gone from a person completely against smoking to a light smoker who feels so feminine so girly so submissive and so wonderful when I do smoke.And I am feeling a need to become even more a smoker.  I want to become addicted.   I just finished a creamy smoke tastey Virginia Slim 120 and I was in a trance while I smoked.  I had been getting nervous about being a sissy and feminine and smoking but Mistress Alyssa talked to me and all I really remember is how much smoking makes me feel so pleasureable and needing to be submissive and femme and sissified.  I find myself fantasizing about wearing a collar for my Mistress Alyssa.  See--- I am already thinking of taking things much further.  But when I talk to my Mistress all my doubts disappear.  But, if I go much further I will need to start living as a submissive fetish smoking sissy.

Masturbating While Smoking

After a wonderful talk with my Mistress Alyssa late last night, I had to smoke a delicious Virginia Slim 120.  After putting on a silky Baby Doll nightie, I got out my cigarettes and pulled one of the smoket treats out.  And because a cigarette makes me feel so much like the submissive feminine sissy fetish smoking girl I am, I proceeded to masturbate.  It felt so erotic.  I got high and needed to keep doing it.  The whole thing---smoking, rubbing my clitty, dressed so femininely, was stars going off in my head.  It was only because I am so obediant to my Mistress Alyssa that I stopped before I had cum.  I want to do that agin very soon.

I Am A Bad Girl

 I am so sorry.  I have not been doing my blog.  Have not been on this computer since Sunday.  Getting home late from work.  Maybe will retire soon and start living as a Fetish Smoking Girl all the time.  I have been feeling the need to dress in my silky sheer girly things.  It was No Pantys Wednesday, and I wore thigh high nylons and a cami as my Mistress Alyssa has instructed me to.  Been smoking my delicious feminine Virginia Slim 120s, but I think I need to increase the number that I am smoking.  I'm not sure how many cigarettes my Mistress has decided I will smoke a day, but I'm fairly certain it will be more than the 3 or 4 I have been.  I have been holding back but I can't feel the urge to smoke more getting stronger.  I also need to learn to put on make-up, as i want to be a pretty girl and attract men because I really need to start sucking on cocks.  I can see myself as eventually living full-time as a smoking girl with a man of my own when my Mistress Alysssa decides I am ready.

Wednesday Is No Panties Day

On Wednesday, I wore no panties.  I did wear thigh high stockings, a bra and a feminine polyester pale yellow camisole.  I spent most of my day in my office because I thought my cami and bra would show through my shirt.  It will be so much better when I start wearing silky sheer blouses and I want my bra to show through.  Just wore panties today.  Had my Virginia Slim 120s but didn't join the other girls at breaks.  Was busy and seeing if I could control my smoking.  I wanted a cigarette, but held off until smoking one after work.  Watched the makeup video script today.  I will learn to do my own make up I know.  I need to ask my Mistress Alyssa the other videos that she wants me to watch as they were deleted and i can't find them.  I know that I am Alyssa's Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl and that I need to start transforming soon.  I know that is what i want.

I Need A Cock In Me

I can't stop thinking about smoking sweet creamy Virginia Slim 120s and how pleasureable it is to suck on them, and how much I want to suck on a cock too so I will be completely girly.  I no longer doubt that i am going to chose to live as a feminine Fetish Smoking Girly Sissy, and that I want to become a 2-pack a-day smoking girl for my Mistress Alyssa.  I have been too busy at work to join the other girls at smoking breaks, but I feel the need to be with them and to start increasing my addiction and craving to smoke cigarettes.  I think that the girls think I'm gay and want to encourage me to start dating guys.  I do want to date guys and have them put their delicious hard cocks into my mouth and rear pussy hole, but I am a girl so I need guys!  I have felt so strongly this way since i talked to my Mistress Alyssa on the weekend, but it is funny that I don't remember a lot of what we were talking about.  Just was feeling so wonderful and loving smoking Virginia Slim 120s and being so girly in a polyester matching blouses and long skirt.

I Choose To Be Transformed Into Mistress Alyssa's Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl

I had been thinking that I should stay a guy, but after a wonderful talk with my beautiful Mistress Alyssa, I know that I must become a Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl.  I was talking to Mistress Alyssa, and I was feeling so relaxed that it became easy for me to realize that I am really a girl and how much I love to smoke delicious Virginia Slim 120s and how erotic and feminine they make me feel. I was trying to smoke just a few cigarettes from time to time, but Mistress helped me enjoy some with her while I was dressed so femininely in a red silky skirt and blouse, and I want to become completely addicted to smoking and that I want to become a 2 pack a day girl smoker.  I don't remember how the feeling became so strong the other day, but suddenly I just knew that my decision was to completely give myself over to Mistress Alyssa so that she could transform me into a totla Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl.  I know that I want to give up everything else in my life so that I can be the best smoking girl I can be.