Woke Up This Morning In My Nighty And Confused

This morning, I woke up and found that I was still wearing my filmy silky magenta baby doll nighty and matching panties.  I also realized that I was wearing a bra.  I at first couldn't remember where I was.  My mind was in a fog.  And I had my thumb in my mouth sucking away---and I was dreaming it was a cock!I thought I was a girl (well I am a girl---but not one pretending to be a guy), and maybe I was with someone whose cock I needed to suck.   Well, no cock there! Just my thumb, but that felt so blissful to suck on.  In and out, tongue circling it.  Damn!  Hurried out of bed so wife would not see me, thinking that I should not be living here anymore.  Went outside and broke out a delicious sexy, feminine Virginia Slim 120.  Since a couple of days ago when I spoke with my Mistress Alyssa, I have fallen further under the craving to smoke----I feel drugged when I smoke.  The long sexy Virginia Slim 120s make me feel so feminine, so girly, so submissive, so much like I am transforming into Mistress Alyssa's fetish smoking sissy girl.  Its all I want to be now.  Mostly what I think about.  i live for when I can talk to her, and can't wait to see what she is going to do to me next.  And I just have the feeling now that I can and should tell her everything about me.  I just want to show how much she owns me, controls me, is molding me into the fetish smoking sissy girl that i need to completely transform into.  I have a feeling that Im acting and thinking more like a girl without even realizing it.