My Mind Has Gotten Hazy

I still remember a time when I used to think things through.  Where I had a sense of planning what I was doing.  But, now I just seem to act by the needs and thoughts that appear in my head.  I think about needing that next delicious Virginia Slim 120 cigarette.  And how much bliss i feel when I smoke one.  And how erotic and sexy and feminine I feel dressing in silky sheer feminine clothes, and how much I need to dress more and more that way.  And how i love feeling so submissive and obeying my Mistress Alyssa.  Other thoughts do still come into my head that I am taking these things too far, that soon it will be all who I am.  But, those thoughts have become very hazy, and I can't seem to bring them into focus anymore.  I do at times start thinking about what I am doing, but so easy to let those thoughts go.  So pleasureful just to allow myself to follow my needs that I dont even need to think about.  I started this blog starting to focus on that maybe i need to slow all this feminization down, but I looked at my pack of Virginia Slim 120s----and they were so sexy so inviting, I needed to take one out to look at it.  I had thought about testing myself not to smoke 10 cigarettes, but why would I do that?  They call to me.  I want to have a sexy Virginia Slim 120 between my lips all the time.