Holidays Are Too Busy

Well, maybe they won't be when I am in shiny silky sissy dresses the whole time.  Not sure I even got my 8 cigarettes in yesterday.  Dodging relatives and other people the whole day.  I was acting swishy, though.  Couldn't help that.  Maybe people just thought I'd drank a bit.  Wanted to be girly and frilly.  More stuff going on today, unfortunately.  Maybe I wasn't quite far down the road of feminization and sissification as I thought, as I am still able to resist the impulses to be that way in an overt manner.  Hmmmmm.

Need To Blog, Need To Dress, Need To Smoke, Need To Obey

Missed my Blog yesterday and felt awful about it.  Trying to do too many things when I really just need to be Mistress Alyssa's Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl as I really am.  Kept trying to sneak a smoke different places.  Just got my 8 cigarettes in, but wanted to smoke more.  Will be so much Bliss when I am living most of the time as a smoking sissy girl.  I want just silky dresses, skirts and blouses hanging in my closet.  I only want lingerie in my drawers- satin and nylon panties, nylons, slips, bras, nightys.  Want dildos and butt plugs too.  And of course, my Virginia Slim 120s on my shelves.  Just had on a nylon slip while smoking a Virginia Slim 120 yesterday, and I got so turned.  My clitty gets hard just thinking about having a smoke while I'm dressed, even just some.  I can't wait to do a sissy smoking video for my Mistress Alyssa so I can turn myself on all the time by watching myself dressed and smoking.  I hope Mistress Alyssa shows the video to her friends to show how I have become her fetish smoking sissy girl completely.

Fighting Urge To Show Everyone That I'm A Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl

I have started swinging my hips, flicking my hands, and showing other feminine mannerisms in public.  I have been wearing a bra because it feels so good on my jigglies and I want the outline of my bra strap and the cups to show.  I am more and more sistant with my wife because I need to be living separate from her so I can be in femme dress and smoking all the time.  And I am no longer attracted to pussy.  I want to be smoking delicious Virginia Slim 120s and my Mistress Alyssa'a juicy cock.  I need a place to start receiving all the girly clothes and makeup that I want to order through the mail.  I want to start ordering sissy dresses and satin maids dresses, and harem girl clothes and wigs through the mail.  I am most of the time sleeping in a nylon nighty, but eventually my wife will catch me and I'm afraid of her anger----I am such a sissy.  She doesn't know i smoke, and I want to start smoking all the time at home.  I want to become Mistress Alyssa's slave fetish smoking sissy girl n24/7 and to do everything she wants me to do.  I want to devote my all to her.

Dressing and Smoking Has Replaced Sex With my Wife For Me

Dressing in silky sheer slippery feminine things and smoking erotic addicting feminine Virginia Slim 120s is sex for me now.  I want it all the time.  And the need to dress and smoke is getting stronger and stronger.  I am in BLISS with so much pleasure as I sit here in my silky slippery frilly red blouse and skirt with black nylon smooth lacey slip and satiny bra and smooth silky nylon panties and smokey sheer shimmering nylon hose underneath, inhaling and exhaling creamy sexy white smoke from my delicious so erotic Virginia Slim 120.  And I crave sucking a cock now.  i no longer want pussy.  I want to dress and smoke and be the girl who i am all the time now.  I want to live as a fetish smoking sissy girl.

Had A Dream

Had such a vivid dream last night, and I even remembered it.  That is odd because I seldom remember much of a dream, and I remember this dream in so much detail.  It was a bit disconncerting anyway, as I woke up wearing my nylon baby doll nighty. Fortunately, the wife was still asleep.  I do remember putting on the nighty last night, and going outside to have a delicious feminine Virginia Slim 120. The smoke I inhale felt so wonderful in me, and I loved sucking on the long cigarette.  I was going to put on my pjs over my nighty because I just couldn't make myself take them off, but i think I lost focus and just climbed into bed (wife already asleep) with just my nighty on, and pulled the covers over me.  I'm ususally not that distracted.  I'm getting way too careless in my dressing!

In my dream, as I remember so clearly, I was laying in bed and in my boy-mode- even had on guys pjs, when I heard the doorbell ring.  I was worried that wife would hear, but she didnt wake up.  I answered the door, and it was my Mistress Alyssa at the door!  She took my hand in hers and suddenly we were at a beauty salon.  A very girly salon with lots of pinks and reds and cosmetics around.  Mistress gave me to a girl who took me to a beaticians chair and sat me down.  I was feeling so very relaxed.  This was after she had me take all my clothes off and gave me a pink fluffy robe to wear.  I think I almost melted into the chair, and felt almost in a trance.  My hair, which had gotten long, was cut and styled into a very feminine hair style.  While this was happening, another girl was shining and trimming my hand and toe nails into sparkling ovals.  Applying purplish red nail polish to them, and then laquer over them.  I was feeling so girly and submissive.  They had also put a pack of Virginia Slim 120s next to me on a table.  I had held the pack, loving the sound of the wrapping of the pack, and slipping out one of the long feminine cigarettes out of the pack.  I remember how much I enjoyed the process of getting the Smokey Treat out of its pack, and placing the yummy rod between my lips.  i held the match up and loved seeing the tip of the VS 120 turn cherry red.  It was so erotic as i sucked the blissful feeling smoke deep inside me.  I felt a little dizzy from inhaling so deeply, but it was a feeling that was wonderful.  I was so enjoying the cigarette, that I hardly noticed that the girls were done with me!  And I suddenly felt sooo very much a girl.  My puffy robe fell away and I saw that i now had, somehow a very feminine figure.  I already knew i had breasts, but now my fanny stuck out and I had very feminine curves.  For a moment I was almost horrified when I realized that my penis had disappeared, but I felt incredibly wonderful and erotic when I saw and felt my vagina.  I felt a wetness as I suddenly felt waves of pleasure going through me from my breasts and my vagina.  I was so happy and giggly to realize that i was finally completely the girl I have always been and wanted to be deep inside, but was too silly to admit to.  I think my dream must have ended about than, as I'm not sure I remember anything else.   But than,  I got such a warm and safe feeling that I was loving that I am now controlled so much by my Mistress Alyssa.  I love that she now controls me, and want her control to become even more complete

Want To Make Myself Pretty For Sissy Smoking Video

I had a blissful talk with my Mistress Alyssa yesterday.  I felt in heaven smoking Virginia Slim 120s with her.  It was sex, and than she let me suck her cock and I was taken to a place even more blissful than Heaven.  Mmmmm- to have her wonderful shaft going back and forth in my mouth.  And her exploding her cum into me.  I am now so much an extension of her.  Our talk ended too soon---I wanted to stay with her longer- smoke more delicious VS 120s as I felt the addiction to them getting stronger and stronger.  And it felt so nice, so right to be dressed in my red blouse and skirt over nylon black slip and bra.  I stayed dressed for a while.  I was so tranced I couldnt bring myself out of it.

Shopping was frustrating though.  It was raining heavy and difficult to get around.  The adult shop I went to did not have the things I thought it would, and had been told that it did.  No Sissy dresses.  Mostly just upscale things and not much help there.  I may need to order my dresses.  But, I need a place to receive them at.  I also need makeup and did not see what I wanted.  I still need to figure out all the things I need.  I want to start using make up to make myself pretty and feminine.  I so want to start maling videos for Mistress.  I will show myself on the videos being the submissive fetish smoking sissy girl who I am now.  I really want to start doing those.  The compulsions to dress and smoke and be the fetish smoking sissy girl more and more is getting so strong that I may need to find a new place to live.  Does anyone know a place for me?

Girl At work Wants To Quit Smoking And Me Too

Girl at work says she is trying to quit smoking, and says since i only smoke a few cigarettes a day right now, maybe I will want to quit altogether while it isnt too hard.  I told her that I'm fine--- that I'm not much of a smoker.  I'm not sure, but I think maybe I was lying to her.  Maybe i should encourageher to start smoking again?

I am thinking that i might want my own place soon.  But, I might need more money.  Thinking about getrting a second job.  Would love to work as a girl.  But, not ready to pass.  I have been thinking of trying to do a video for my Mistress Alyssa, while I'm smoking Virginia Slim 120s, and very femmme.  Wearing a silky dress and with make up on.  Haven't had much time this week, but off tomorrow so I can look for some nice make up.  Maybe also go to a shop that might have sissy dresses.   mmmmmm.  Also want a new butt plug.  Have heard from the guy who wants me as his girlfriend, but I dont think my Mistresss wants me to see him.  Saw a doctoron the web in Los Angeles who does hormones, but I already have breasts.

Accepting That I Am A Smoking Sissy

It was no panties Wednesday, and I realized that I want more and more changes.  I know that I wear sissy lingerie, but now I really want to be a sissy girl in all ways.  I think I need soon to start wearing bits of makeup at all times.  I actually called a divorce lawyer's phone but hung up before I talked.  But, I still have the number...

Choose Wife or Virginia (Slim 120s)

Wife hates smoking.  Do I love Virginia Slim 120s more than my wife?  Smoking makes me feel so much a submissive sissy girl that maybe I don't want a wife anymore.  Maybe I'd rather be a wife myself.  Maybe I crave smoking more than my wife?  I am certainly craving wearing a silky dress or a sheer blouse and a twirly skirt, nylon panties, nylon slip, nylon hose, and of course a bra to hold my breasts in.  And to be dressed and smoking...  And I really want to suck a cock.  Am I too addicted now to dressing and smoking to even need a wife?

Need Time T Complete Smoking Sissy Conversion

Thinking of getting a hotel room for a couple of days just to be a sissy smoking girl.  Get dressed, practice putting on makeup, and smoke till I m completely addicted.  It actually sounds wonderful to me.  I wish I had a place to get my sissy things mailed to.  Maybe a friend can help?  Is there a friend out there?  Somebody that rreads this?  Another of Mistress Alyssa's sissies?  I guess I'm being silly.  It feels so good to have my breasts jiggle.  Giggle, oooo. They feel and look so nice.  I am at 5 cigarettes a day.  I could smoke more, and I want to, but I'm holding off a complete addiction for a little while longer.  I think I'm going to have a feminine Virginia Slim 120 before I go to bed.  I want to curl up in a silky nightie and suck on a cock.