Not In Christmas Spirit

I feel just blasee about the holidays this year.  I can't feel excited if I'm not dressed in a red satin Christmas dress or a see through nylon blouse and taffeta skirt, over smooth nyloned legs, with bright red lipstick and able to be smoking a Virginia Slim 120.  And wish I was with my Mistress Alyssa during the holidays especially although I'm sure she is busy this time of year.  I felt even worse when i wasn't able to talk to Mistress Alyssa today.  But, I always feel bad now when I go very long without talking to her.  I wish I could just get on her schedule.  I wake up from dreams of Mistress Alyssa, usually with my thumb in my mouth and a nighty on in the middle of the night, but lately it has been too cold to get out of bed and see if she is on the net.  But, I feel restless when i don't talk to her.  Had a bunch of things to do today.  Wore panties and a cami, but really would have liked to keey my silky dress on that I first put on.  Trying to learn more about make up and lipstick.  For some reason, really feeling the urge to start wearing lipstick.  Was a bit distracted today, and I don't think I have smoked 8 cigarettes today.  Keeping my Virginia Slims in their pretty silver case.  Feel so feminine when i pull a cigarette out of it.Is time of year when people should be together, but I'm feeling lonely because I feel the need to be with people who know I am a fetish smoking sissy girl, and love me that way.  Maybe next Christmas!