Getting Back To Becoming A Smoking Sissy

Was out of town for the weekend, and wasn't able to be the fetish smoking sissy girl I am, and need to become more of.  Couldn't even wear panties!  I had to buy some cotton boxers to wear. Yuck!  Did get a few smokes of my delicious Virginia Slim 120s, but have not been able to immerse myself into becoming completely addicted to smoking cigarettes like I must become---like I want to become.  So i can't go very long without a total craving for a cigarette.  I must be somewhat a non-addictive type since I'm not yet completely addicted.  What i really felt bad about was not being ablt to blog.  i really needed to write my blog, but didn't have a computer.  It was awful!  Am I addicted to blogging that I feel the need so much?  And it was terrible not dressing in silky slippery sheer feminine things.  I want to get divorced so I can be a girly submissive smoking sissy when I'm home all the time.  Not to mention I need to smoke a cock.  It was such bliss sucking my Mistress Alyssa's cock.  It was my first time and I loved it.  Now i must get makeup and a sissy wig this week.  And soon a shiny, silky satin sissy dress.  And I really want to do a video dressed and smoking Virginia Slim 120s showing everyone that I am Mistress Alyssa fetish smoking submissive sissy girl.