Been A While

Trying to be a straight guy, but slipped back into faggy effeminate good boi last week.  Stopped at the store and bought a pack of Misty 120 Green Menthols.  Came home, slipped on a bra, silky panties, slippery nylon slip, and sat outside in the dark smoking one of the Misty 120s.  Felt waves of pleasure, and the smoke and feel of the silky femmy lingerie was overwhelmingly blissful.  All I could think of was how much an effeminate swishy faggy  sissyboi I felt like.  I felt delightfully dizzy and dreamy, but I think I could only handle one of the long femmy Misty 120s at one sitting.  Couldn't help fantasizing while I was sitting there smoking, how marvelous it would be to also have on a silky sheer rufflely blouse over my slip and bra, where my lacy bra and nylon slip showed through the sheer silky material, and a twirly chiffon skirt, over nylon hose covered legs, with heels; long shiny nails, and with shiny lipstick, mascara, and makeup on.  What a effeminate, swishy, faggy sissy queer queen I would make! And from my seat, I could slip down onto my knees to suck on a juicy hard cock while I continued to smoke my long femmy cigarettes.  My straight guy-self as, with great effort reasserted control,  and I am desperately trying not to give into the desires put on silky panties and smoke a long feminine cigarette, and to think about being gay and femmy.

Am I Forever A Faggy, Femmy Sissy Boi?

Will I forever be Daddy's creampuff of a sissy-boi queen?  Have I already gone too far that road to turn back?  Feels that way, but maybe not?  I'm so weak and suggestible, but it would probably take a little more guidance to turn me into a complete homosexual queer queen---but maybe not much!

Cold today, so maybe I need to wear panties and a slip and pantyhose and a bra!  Can keep my jacket on today.I know i'll be mincing and swishing around today, but I feel sooo nice when I do.  Giggle.  will be sooo fun.

A Futile Effort?

Didn't wear panties today, but I just didn't feel right.  I may have to wear some very silky slippery ones tomorrow.  Maybe pantyhose too.  I know I will feel so femmy faggy sissy boi, and maybe like a creampuff, but, but it is Friday.  Ready for the weekend.  I must admit that I wish I was planning going out as a made-up queer queen and partying this weekend.  Wonder if I will start smoking again over the weekend.  Did I regress back, or was I actually moving forward toward becoming even more faggy and femmy.  I am still dreaming of cocks, and sucking my first one.  Am I transforming into a homosexual no matter how hard I try to be a straight guy?  I am so weak.  It would just be so easy to give into these faggy femmy feelings.

Mt Name Is Davey

I should probably change the name here.  I'm not really Melinda---I am Davey.

I stopped outside David's Bridal Shop, and stared at the bridal gowns.  I just have dreams of wearing a bridal gown of layers of satin, silk, chiffon, and lace.  Do I really want to be a sissy boi bride?  I know I crave to wear a wedding dress.  Trying to put those sweet dreams behind me.  Wore silky nylon panties again to work.  Once again felt like a femmy faggy sissy boi.  Need to stop thinking that.  Wanted to have a delicious Virginia Slim 120 Menthol so I could puff away my masculinity, but I didn't have any with me!  Smoking those long feminine cigarettes fill my mind up with all sorts of femmy, faggy, sissy boi feelings and thoughts.  Will try to be more of a guy tomorrow.  But, after I wear a silky nylon nightie to bed.  Giggle.

Don't Look In The Panty Drawer

Was getting my cotton boxer shorts out yesterday morning, and saw my nylon panties buried underneath my mens underwear. I couldn't resist picking up a pair of the panties, and holding them.   They felt so silky and slippery and wonderful!  Before I realized what I was doing, I had slipped the pair on.  There was no way to bring myself to taking the panties off, so I ended up wearing them all day. I was getting those sissy girly faggy feelings all day that I'm trying to suppress!  Probably was swishing too!  I am going to have to be bmore careful today.  I know I should throw  all my sissy faggy boi queen things out, but I may be too weak to do it.  If I continue to wear silky panties, I won't be able to stop my sissification and transformation.

Am I Attracted To The Woman Or The Blouse?

Was out with friends yesterday, and I had trouble keeping my eyes off a woman there, who was wearing a rather sheer, very silky maroon blouse.  I could see through the blouse to her lacy bra.  I had thought that I might be transforming into being Gay, but I could stop sneaking looks at her.  Was I attracted to the woman, or was I falling in love with her blouse, and want to be wearing it myself?  Speaking of blouses,  I saw a YouTube video, Barbara's Pink Satin blouse, and I did want to look and be dressed like her.  I liked the smoking in Sissy Tranny Slut out for a public walk in the park. I actually own a sissy dress like she is wearing.  Giggle.  I could do a video like that!  Well, maybe not yet.  Giggle.

Speaking of hot YouTube videos, I was mesmerized by Sexy VS 120 Smoking in Red.  Have to watch that again.

Been so busy lately.  Maybe that is good.  Holding up on doing any big transitions in my life.  Maybe, I need to stop and "smell the roses."

Black Friday For Femmy Queen Boi?

Oooooo ---feels so scrumptious waking up in a slippery silky nylon baby doll nightie!  Could not resist putting it on last night.  But, of course, I had to dilute the feelings by putting my boy pjs over them... ahhh.  Well, darlings, can't have everything in this world, can we?  But, if only I had Daddy's hard juicy cock to suck when I woke up! And roll over on my tummy and have Daddy slip his delicious penis inside my pussy hole.  OOooo---fills me up so nicely.  And pump me full of his wonderful love juices.  I might even get pregnant!  Lovely! But, I would be probably still in bed cuddling and making out!

Smoked 2 delicious Virginia Slim 120 Menthols yesterday morning, and I'm not sure what happened.  I had to sit down after inhaling some good long streams of femming smokey clouds.  And I couldn't even stand upo.  I was in a daze for a couple of hours.  I am such a weakling sissy femmy queen.  The people over for Turkey Day probably just thought I'd had too much wine, but I really didn't drink very much.  I kept my swishing to a mininumum, and I don't think I lisped at all, but it would have been very natural to do so.  Might becoming more and more who I am.  I couldn't help fantasizing myself as being at the get-together in a long silky flowing skirt, a silky sheer slippery high collared, long sleeve femmy blouse, hose and heels and sexy silky lingerie underneath.  Of course, I was actually wearing a pair of silky nylon panties and sheer silky pantyhose all day under my pants.  I couldn't help but discreetly slipping my hand under my pants a number of times during the day to rub the all so silky and femmy feeling front of my panties which were feeling so delicious encasing my cock. But, I really would have preferred someone else rubbing the front of my panties...  ooo giggle.

Well, its Black Friday, and I was not one of those running out to the stores to shop at 5AM.  Actually, I guess a lot of places were open last night.  Well, nothing too exciting for this femmy bois to buy.  Do you think they had a sale on butt plugs?!  Giggle.

Hope all had a great Turkey Day.  Toodles.

Davey

Wasn't I Supposed To Be Purging?!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Back From Short Trip

Went out for dinner.  Walked around the Gas Lamp District some.  Not too much.  Not a lot of time.  I could use a longer time away.  Kept eyeing the dressed up ladies---actually for what they were wearing rather for themselves.  Everytime I saw a girl smoking, it held my gaze.  Just have this craving of wanting to become addicted completely and irresistibly to smoking long feminine white 120 Menthol cigarettes.  Where I constantly need to light up.  And with strong feelings that I am a femmy, faggy, smoking sissy boi.  Why am I with a woman?

Going Down To Gas Lamp Quarter For Couple Of Days

Short trip to San Diego.  Stay near the Gas Lamp District.  Try out a restaurants, hear some music.  I love 80s and 70s music, so I'm not sure I will be able to find that.  Walking around there will probably drive me crazy as I see the ladies in their silky dresses with shiny nylon covered legs in high heels walking all around.  Maybe some even smoking long white narrow 120 feminine cigarettes.  With various shades of lipstick and glistening lipgloss making the lips on those cigarettes so sexy and marvelous looking.  I won't bring a nightie, but maybe some nylons.  Just be there until tomorrow.

Short Trip

Going down   to San Diego for just a couple days.  Just to go to a restaurant and walk around.  Maybe hear some music.  I like 80s and 90s Rock, so I'm not sure what we'll hear.  I think it would be a lot more exciting if I was going down as Davey than Dave.  As Davey I would be packing a silky sheer dress for a night out and sexy lingerie.  And a silky satiny negligee and nightgown.  Delicious Virginia Slim 120 Menthols or maybe Capris 120 Methols.  I understand parts of San Diego are very fun and welcome swishy, femmy, faggy queens.  A very active Gay community.  Nice.  Maybe be anticipating giving my first smokey blowjob!  mmmmmm

Staying the Course

Missed a couple days writing here.  Sorry, darlings!  Not writing with a lisp, am I ?  Trying not to be Gay- hah!  Of course nothing wrong with being Gay.  It's wonderful!  Especially femmy, swishy gay can be heavenly.

Going out of town on Tuesday and Wednesday, so may miss here a few days, but try to get back Thursday or Friday.  Have to work today.  Ooooo, already running late!  Must figure out what to wear.  Bought some new cotton boxers, but Monday maybe needs some silky nylon panties to get through the day.  Will stop that soooon, I think.  And the pantyhose, too!  No  lipstick today, honey.

Gotta to run.  Toodles.

Need To Stop Puffing My Masculinity Away

Thought I wasn't going to smoke anymore, but could not resist those delicious feminine Virginia Slim 120 Menthols.  Just had a couple, but I could feel my masculinity leaving me as I smoked.  Feel so like in a trance---so girly, so femmy and submissive.  What bliss...mmm...No more tomorrow.  But, I'm off tomorrow, so will be hard not to think about all those femmy faggy things.

Silky Sheer Blouse

I should track how things are going during this time of purging for me, I think.  So as to insure I don't lose my way and fall back into my femmy, faggy sissy boi ways.

I wanted to get out of the office at lunch today.  I decide that just a trip over to the local mall and a stroll around would help to clear my head.  I really did need some new men's cotton boxer undershorts. I had been neglecting my supply of men's underwear lately, and had been replacing them with silky nylon panties instead.  Since my plan is to stop wearing panties, I would need some new boxers.  I had not worn amy panties today, but couldn't bring myself to put on any mens underpants either.  I think without even thinking, I had slipped on some nylon thigh highs.  When I realized what I had done, I was going to take them off, but for some reason I felt I had to leave them on.  And, to make sure they didn't slip down, I put on a garter belt.  attaching the nylons to the clips on the garters gave me an incredible feeling of bliss.  I need to stop doing this!  Walking through Macy's Store, I really concentrated on not swishing.  Darlings, its such a forceful habit to get rid of swaying your hips.  I was totally in the wrong part of the store!  Women's sexy feminine blouses on all sides of me!  My eyes were captured by an all-so feminine, Emerald, silky-sheer ruffled blouse.  Mmmmmm-so lovely.  It was practically floating off the rack!  I had stopped and was just staring at the blouse.  My fantasies took me to all sorts of places that I must not go anymore!  I could feel the soft, smooth silkiness as I lightly touched the material.  It was polyester and nylon----my favorites!  The 3/4 sleeves were billowly and so very sheer.  I couldn't stop the thoughts of how I would look wearing the blouse, maybe with a matching chiffon skirt and a lacy bra that would show through the semi-transparency of the silky blouse.  Sometimes a nylon slip is also so wonderful to wear under a silky blouse so you can feel the silky over silky slipping over each other.  I had to pull myself away before i gave into the desire to buy the blouse, and perhaps break my purge!  I could already feel myself giving in as I managed to escape the department.  Will I ever be able to stop these femmy faggy feelings that have gotten such a hold over me?  I think that it must be possible.  Just need to not think about those feelings...

 

Purge!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Transforming Into Femmy Gay Sissyboi

My name is Davey and I am a homosexual.  I want to be a homosexual.  I am becoming a femmy fetsish smoking faggy queen.  I belong in a relationship with a gay man, not with a woman in a marriage.  I want to be addicted to smoking delicious feminine Virginia Slim 120 Menthols.  I am wearing silky nylon panties more and more.  I dream of sucking cock and having my rear hole penetrated by cock, now.  I am giving in completely to these desires.

Finally Home

After traveling most of the day, finally got home.  Been gone all  week,  thought maybe compulsions to be femme and sissy would have receded.  But, I was craving getting into a satin half slip, nylon panties, nylon stockings more than ever as I got closer to being home.  And couldn't stop thinking about Virginia Slim 120s.

Going Through A Sissification Transformation

I am transforming into a femmy faggy sissy.  I love dressing in silky, sheer, frilly, slippery,satiny feminine clothing.  I grow weak just thinking of smoking a slender white feminine Virginia Slim 120 Menthol.  I'm not addicted, but i will be soon.  I think that i shall be retiring soon, maybe to relocate.  Not sure I can stop this transformation, even if i really wanted to.

Where From Here?

Feel like I'm drifting these days.  Not sure where I'm going, or who I will become.  I received hormones from Phoenix Project, but not sure I want to take them.  Not even sure they really work at all.  Probably should have ordered from IN-House Pharmacy if i really wanted to physically feminize myself.  But these might have some effect.  Anyone know?  Any experience with Phoenix Project.  But, maybe I'm really a femme sissy faggot?  I really need to suck a cock to find out if I really love it like I am craving it now.  Smoking some, and i may soon increase that.  No panties tomorrow.

Sissy Habits Taking Hold Again

I was actually starting to bring david back, but my Sissy thoughts and behaviors are taking over again.  Back to wearing nylon panties instead of mens cotton boxer shorts, nylon hose instead of socks, and I bought a pack of Virginia Slim 120 Menthols which I know I will smoke.  And my cock tells me that I want to be with another CD or man instead of a woman.  Am I sliding into becoming all sissy?