A Futile Effort?

Didn't wear panties today, but I just didn't feel right.  I may have to wear some very silky slippery ones tomorrow.  Maybe pantyhose too.  I know I will feel so femmy faggy sissy boi, and maybe like a creampuff, but, but it is Friday.  Ready for the weekend.  I must admit that I wish I was planning going out as a made-up queer queen and partying this weekend.  Wonder if I will start smoking again over the weekend.  Did I regress back, or was I actually moving forward toward becoming even more faggy and femmy.  I am still dreaming of cocks, and sucking my first one.  Am I transforming into a homosexual no matter how hard I try to be a straight guy?  I am so weak.  It would just be so easy to give into these faggy femmy feelings.