Was So Much A Woman Going To Work Today

Had on smooth nylon panties, a lacy bra, a silky camisole, nylon hose under my yucky men's clothes going to work today.  Took my high heels and lipstick with, which I kept thinking about putting on all day.  Used some chap stick and pretended that it was lipstick.  Went outside to smoke and slipped on my heels.  I really  belonged in a silk blouse and a nylon skirt.  Would have felt much better.  What would really feel nice would be the Sissy dress, the erotic mincing ribbons, and the frilly sissy collar that I am on the verge of ordering.  I probably should go get my card so that I can order them.  But, i am nervous about ordering them----I just have this feeling that things will change for me if I order them.  I just seem to be in a daze about the whole thing.  Waiting for myself to do something, but I'm paralyzed.  I find that i am less able to decide things anymore.  Who am i becoming?  I don't think i know anymore.  I don't know if I'm deciding anymore.  It's being decided for me i think.  Maybe I don't have a choice anymore.  I think I will find out soon.