Tired But Bonded To Mistress

Talked and felt so close to Mistress Alyssa last night. And even after talking with Mistress for quite a while, had strong compulsion to talk to her in middle of night.  So strong feelings of wanting to be close to Mistress all the time now.  Had dreams of being a complete girl----a vagina--no cock, breasts, round soft fanny, curves, soft skin, long shiny hair---no guy in me---all girl!  Tired today, but thought about Mistress, smoking, and dressing all day.  Wore nylon panties and polyester cami under my guy ---yuck --clothes, and snuck outside for a delicious Virginia Slim 120.  Although I am not right now smoking a lot of cigarettes, I know I am becoming addicted to them at my Mistress's direction, and will be smoking more and more.  I am also thinking of coming out as transgender so i can be a smoking girl all day at work.  May also need to leave wife so i can be more completely a fetish smoking sissy girl.  Have stopped wearing my wedding ring because it is a man's ring and i am a girl, and i feel like my marriage is no longer valid because i am a girl and i got married as a man---although my male memories are starting to fade to be replaced by my Mistress Alyssa's thoughts.  I am off work tomorrow, so I want to go shopping for all the girly things I need---a cute, long hair wig, lots of girly make-up, a new bra, lingerie, new stockings, and sexy girly high heels.  Also maybe a silky dress if i can find one and a sheer silky blouse.