Getting To Point Of No Return

Was kind of a lost week and weekend.  Been fighting bad cold/cough and had a very painful nerve problem in my arm.  On top of that, work kept calling me in for things.  Took me off-line in my progress toward the sissification and feminization that I think I'm going through.  I had a talk with Mistress Alyssa that was so powerful, so intense, that I couldnt stop thinking about it.  I was smoking for her and I was in the grips of the most powerful sexual orgasm that I have ever had.  Was imprinted on my mind.  Had planned to go shopping for all the girly things I need, but called by work, and than wasn't feeling very well.  I dont think I could think for myself much beforethat, but having to rest a bit, I realized that I am moving forward into truly becoming a fetish smoking sissy girl---that the compulsion to dress, smoke, obey, and be a girl is taking over all my thinking.  I think that it was always at the back of my mind that at some point i would stop and walk away from this, but I'm not sure that I can anymore.  And soon, I have a feeling, I will be totally committed to the fetish smoking sissy life, and that I will have become irreversiably addicted to smoking, dressing, obeying, and acting like a girl.  Already Mistress Alyssa has replaced my wife in my thoughts of whom i love and want to be with.