I Want To Be The T-Mobile Girl

I love the T-Mobile Girl.  I want to be her.  I especially love her shiny red dress.  I love her figure.  I love her feminine mannerisms.  Maybe it's know ing that I can't be her that is pushing me to stop continuing dow the road of feminization.  And people telling me that I shouldn't smoke.  Smoking those delicious Virginia Slim 120s make me feel so girly, and so submissive, and I feel like I'm having sex while I'm smoking.  If I am ever to return to being a guy, I need to not smoke anymore.  At least I have stopped for now.  Now if I could just get rid of these breastrs that I have grown somehow!

Idea of Doing A Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl Video

The idea of doing a video of me smoking a Virginia Slim 120 cigarette while dressed very femme keeps popping into my head.  Not sure why that idea keeps coming to me, but getting stronger and stronger feelings of the desire to do that.

Felt not normal to not be sleeping in a silky nightie last night, after spending a week going to bed wearing one.  Maybe just realizing how much I love being a girl.

Need to go out and get some pink lipstick and clear nail polish today.

Living as melinda

I lived as melinda a lot on my trip.  It was intoxicating getting into bed every night in a silky sexy feminine nylon nightie.  A long night gown and a so sweet baby doll.  Feeling my breasts in their bra against the sheets.  mmmmmm.  Blisss.  So much pleasure.  I love being Mistress Alyssa's feminine Fetish Smoking sissy girl.  During parts of the day, I wore my silky polyester red dress (actually separates), nylons, panties, slip, bra.... blisss.  I want more!   I smoked my feminine Virginia Slim 120s, but nearly as much as I wanted as it was a no smoking room.  I want to get a room where I can smoke a whole day, dressed and being femme.  Does anyone out there have a place that I could do that?  Looking for in So Cal area.

Snuck A Smoke At Dinner

Went out to dinner with friends.  Snuck outside for a smoke.  Wished I was wearing a dress to go out in.  Felt odd not wearing a bra for my breasts.  Feel a bit dreamy lately.  Just thoughts of my Mistress and how I keep feeling more and more submissive and girly.

Was In A Wonderful Place Talking To Mistress Alyssa

I was feeling so wonderful talking to my Mistress Alyssa today.  I just felt so wonderful, submissive and girly hearing her words in my mind.  Mistress Alyssa had just had me smoke a delicious Virginia Slim 120 cigarette, and I was happy to obey her.  Smoking the cigarette had felt just like having sex, I wanted it to go on and on.  I was dazed how much I was loving it.  I don't really remember my talk with Mistress Alyssa, just that I was feeling so good.  My wonderful state was disturbed unfortunately and I wish I could have stayed forever in that state with my Mistress.  I crave getting back to her now. 

I Need To Wear A Bra Now

I'm not sure what happened, but while I was enjoying my sweet feminine Virginia Slim 120s, I was feeling especially submissive and girly.  I noticed that my nipples had become very sensitive and I now had breasts!  And I love that I have them!  I am such a girl!  They were pushing out and filling out the front of my nightgown.  I need to start wearing a bra all the time to keep my new boobies in place!  I can't wait to tell Mistress Alyssa about how I now have breasts.

Getting In Deeper and Deeper

After a sweet talk with my Mistress Alyssa, I had a wonderful Virginia Slim 120.  Mmmmmm I did enjoy it, although I had to go on a walk to be able to smoke so wife would not see me.  I guess I haven't given completely up on my marriage, but it means less to me each day.  As much as I have thought to put the breaks to my feminization, my smoking, my feelings of submissiveness toward my Mistress Alyssa, I am falling deeper under her control everyday it seems.  I have always thought I could stop all this at any point I chose to, but I'm not so sure anymore.  I think about maybe taking a break from the feminization and sissification process, but I can feel myself going a little further each day, and I lose all resolve I had to take a break whenever I talk to Mistress Alyssa.  I was trying to stop smoking before I truly became addicted, but when I talk to Mistress, I want to go forward in establishing becoming a complete addiction as a smoking girl.  I have even been dreaming in wearing a frilly sissy collar to show that I belong to Mistress Alyssa, although I think that is a ways off if it ever happens.  I have a few thoughts left of stopping this, but I think Mistress Alyssa controls me too much now for me to do anything but what she decides for me.