Feel So Alone Lately

I have found it harder and harder to act like a guy, lately.  But, I feel like I'm by myself because my true self- my girl self, has no one to be with.  I want to be Melinda Anne with someone---anyone!  Do I need a bf, a gf, another cd to relate to.  I need to have someone to help me with my makeup, my dressing, my smoking...

I Think She Knows

It might be my wife knows---or at least suspects my femme self.  Not quite sure what to do.  Just admit it.  Leave.  She doesn't seem very happy with me.  It is so hard to hold my girl-self back, but not sure I can just start living as a girl.  I do feel like doing just that, though.

Had A Crazy Sex Dream

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How Far Will I Take My Sissification?

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Pushing Ahead To Be A Better Sissy Girl

I had been trying to not be a sissy girl, but I have realized that I can't because that is who I am.  And I need to become more and more a sissy girl.  I want to get my sissy dress and show myself off in it.  I need to get better with taking photos and moving them onto the computer.  I think my lack of computer skills has held me back from expressing more the sissy girl I am.  I should have some sissy pics of myself here.  Need to figure out how to do.  Problems with the cars has taken way too much time away from exploring and expressing my girl-self as much i really needed to this weekend.  I have been trying to be my own girl lately, but i am such a sissy girl, and sissy girls needed to be controlled and owned.  Just such a wonderful feeling.  But, being my own person for a while lets me try to have my own thoughts and have an ability to decide what i should do.  But, not sure I should have control over myself.

Back in Panties Tomorrow

I love my No-Panty Wednesdays, but will be happy to be wearing silky nylon panties again tomorrow.  Felt so "free" today, although would have been much better if I was wearing a skirt.  Slept in a long nightgown last night.  Need more nighties, maybe go back to my baby doll nighty or maybe wear a slip to bed tonight.  Have been sleeping in a separate bedroom from my wife the last few nights.  Just told her that I wasn't sleeping well and didn't want to disturb her.  Not sure if when or if I will sleeping in the same room and bed again  soon.  I did keep waking up last night.  Had a wonderful talk with Mistress Alyssa last night.  She just makes me feel so good.

No Panty Wednesday

I get so excited about No-Panty Wednesdays.  It's just a great feeling I get in anticipation of dressing especially feminine and sexy on this day!  Albeit while wearing no panties, which I do love.  But, I have put out a garter, my last pair of silky black nylons, a polyester lacy cami, a lacy black bra, and i even touched up my toenails with clear polish.

I can hear a faint warning alarm going off somewhere in the back of my head.  I think it is saying, "what are you doing? You are going right back to where you were before."  But, it is easy to quiet that voice by lighting up a sweetly delicious Virginia Slim 120.  Someone has told me that I am so easily controlled, but that I can avoid being controlled just by not going near that person who so easily controls you.  But, what if you are addicted to that person, and are driven by the wonderful feelings you get being with that person to get connected up with that person.  I do know that I am very easily hypnotized and have been conditioned, maybe beyond resisting it anylonger.

I just need to go a little further in experiencing femininzation and sissification.  At some point I'll just stop dressing, acting like a girl, thinking like a girl, and being a fetish smoking sissy girl.  I thought I had stopped, but I'm not so sure that I ever really did.  Maybe I can't anylonger?