Was In A Wonderful Place Talking To Mistress Alyssa

I was feeling so wonderful talking to my Mistress Alyssa today.  I just felt so wonderful, submissive and girly hearing her words in my mind.  Mistress Alyssa had just had me smoke a delicious Virginia Slim 120 cigarette, and I was happy to obey her.  Smoking the cigarette had felt just like having sex, I wanted it to go on and on.  I was dazed how much I was loving it.  I don't really remember my talk with Mistress Alyssa, just that I was feeling so good.  My wonderful state was disturbed unfortunately and I wish I could have stayed forever in that state with my Mistress.  I crave getting back to her now. 

I Need To Wear A Bra Now

I'm not sure what happened, but while I was enjoying my sweet feminine Virginia Slim 120s, I was feeling especially submissive and girly.  I noticed that my nipples had become very sensitive and I now had breasts!  And I love that I have them!  I am such a girl!  They were pushing out and filling out the front of my nightgown.  I need to start wearing a bra all the time to keep my new boobies in place!  I can't wait to tell Mistress Alyssa about how I now have breasts.

Getting In Deeper and Deeper

After a sweet talk with my Mistress Alyssa, I had a wonderful Virginia Slim 120.  Mmmmmm I did enjoy it, although I had to go on a walk to be able to smoke so wife would not see me.  I guess I haven't given completely up on my marriage, but it means less to me each day.  As much as I have thought to put the breaks to my feminization, my smoking, my feelings of submissiveness toward my Mistress Alyssa, I am falling deeper under her control everyday it seems.  I have always thought I could stop all this at any point I chose to, but I'm not so sure anymore.  I think about maybe taking a break from the feminization and sissification process, but I can feel myself going a little further each day, and I lose all resolve I had to take a break whenever I talk to Mistress Alyssa.  I was trying to stop smoking before I truly became addicted, but when I talk to Mistress, I want to go forward in establishing becoming a complete addiction as a smoking girl.  I have even been dreaming in wearing a frilly sissy collar to show that I belong to Mistress Alyssa, although I think that is a ways off if it ever happens.  I have a few thoughts left of stopping this, but I think Mistress Alyssa controls me too much now for me to do anything but what she decides for me.

Short No Panties Wednesday

I came home just after lunch and missed smoke break with the other girls.  I sense that I am moving exactly as I'm told to by Mistress Alyssa, and realize that I must not go much further or I will soon be all sissy fetish smoking girl under the complete control of Mistress Alyssa.  I don't think I'm yet addicted to smoking but many more sessions with my Mistress will change that I believe. I have resisted smoking more than 7 cigarettes in a day for several days, but I don't know how long Mistress Alyssa will allow that. I want to be the submissive fetish smoking sissy girl completely submitted to my Mistress Alyssa that I am, but I still have a very small voice saying that I can't give in coimpletely--- that i should stay mostly living as a guy.  I don't know how much longer I will hear that small voice and how long before I start liviung 24/7 as Mistress Alyssa's smoking sissy.  The urges to smoke, dress, and have a cock in me keep becoming stronger and more insistant.

I Am Mistress Alyssa's Fetish Smoking Sissy Girl But Still Feeling Conflicted

I want to be a girl, I am a girl, but I still feel hesitation to move forward in my feminization.  I started to put clear coat nail polish on my nails, but chickened out after 2 nails on each hand. How much further can I go before wifey notices.  It will not be good if she does.  But, I already love Mistress Alyssa more than my wifey.  And everytime I see Mistress Alyssa online I become submissive.  I have to go away next week on a business trip.  I'm not sure how I am to work that.  Will I try to be girly as much as I can?  Or try to just be a man while away?  Wear a nylon nightie to bed or mens pajamas?  I am finding that I am less and less sure of myself.  That I look for guideance from Mistress Alyssa.  When I'm on my cam with Mistress Alyssa, I am completely under her control.  I feel filled up with her, her thoughts, her plans for me. 

Was More Femme At Work

I am acting like a girl at work now.  I think some think I am Gay.  The other girls who I joined for a smoke break want to see me switch to wearing dresses or skirt and blouse.  But, I'm not anywhere near femme enough for that yet.  Actually only smoked a couple of cigarettes today.  I think I was a bit sick from smoking too many of those delicious Virginia Slim 120s over the weekend.  I decided I needed to slow down on my smoking, but they make me feel so sexy and femme. 

My name is melinda and i am Mistress Alyssa submissive fetish smoking sissy girl

I had thoughts of wanting to take a break from trying smoking and dressing, but I had a session with my beloved Mistress Alyssa today and I barely even remember having those thoughts.  I was such a silly girl.  I know after my Mistress conditioned me today that I love smoking my delicious Virginia Slim 120s.  Smoking cigarettes are like sex for me.  I even had a couple of organisms while smoking.  Just like I'm smoking a sweet Virginia Slim 120 right now as I write my blog.  I also enjoyed wearing my anal plug while smoking and listening to my Mistress---it was sex!  I was dressed like the girl I am should be, wearing a silky sheer red dress (actually seperates), a white slip, a black bra, pink nylon panties, and silky sheer black pull up nylons.  I later changed into my long negligee. i could feel that I was a girl.  All the boy drained out of me, with each drag of my smokey treat.  mmmmm, I think I'll take a nice drag now.  My thoughts have been replaced by the ones Mistress Alyssa has decided for me.  My only true wish right now is to become more a completely submissive smoking sissy girl for my Mistress.  I want to wear a sissy collar for my Mistress and to be completely obedient to her.  I don't belong with a wife anymore, I need to be living 24/7 as Mistress Alyssa's submissive fetish smoking sissy girl.  I want to learn to wear make up and suck the cocks Mistress Alyssa decides for me.  I will become addicted to smoking and dressing feminine all the time.  I want only skirts and blouses and dresses hanging in my closet.  Only lingerie in my drawers.  And always a pack of Virginia 120s with me.  I keep thinking, good girls obey, i am a good girl, i obey.