Been A While

Trying to be a straight guy, but slipped back into faggy effeminate good boi last week.  Stopped at the store and bought a pack of Misty 120 Green Menthols.  Came home, slipped on a bra, silky panties, slippery nylon slip, and sat outside in the dark smoking one of the Misty 120s.  Felt waves of pleasure, and the smoke and feel of the silky femmy lingerie was overwhelmingly blissful.  All I could think of was how much an effeminate swishy faggy  sissyboi I felt like.  I felt delightfully dizzy and dreamy, but I think I could only handle one of the long femmy Misty 120s at one sitting.  Couldn't help fantasizing while I was sitting there smoking, how marvelous it would be to also have on a silky sheer rufflely blouse over my slip and bra, where my lacy bra and nylon slip showed through the sheer silky material, and a twirly chiffon skirt, over nylon hose covered legs, with heels; long shiny nails, and with shiny lipstick, mascara, and makeup on.  What a effeminate, swishy, faggy sissy queer queen I would make! And from my seat, I could slip down onto my knees to suck on a juicy hard cock while I continued to smoke my long femmy cigarettes.  My straight guy-self as, with great effort reasserted control,  and I am desperately trying not to give into the desires put on silky panties and smoke a long feminine cigarette, and to think about being gay and femmy.

Am I Forever A Faggy, Femmy Sissy Boi?

Will I forever be Daddy's creampuff of a sissy-boi queen?  Have I already gone too far that road to turn back?  Feels that way, but maybe not?  I'm so weak and suggestible, but it would probably take a little more guidance to turn me into a complete homosexual queer queen---but maybe not much!

Cold today, so maybe I need to wear panties and a slip and pantyhose and a bra!  Can keep my jacket on today.I know i'll be mincing and swishing around today, but I feel sooo nice when I do.  Giggle.  will be sooo fun.

A Futile Effort?

Didn't wear panties today, but I just didn't feel right.  I may have to wear some very silky slippery ones tomorrow.  Maybe pantyhose too.  I know I will feel so femmy faggy sissy boi, and maybe like a creampuff, but, but it is Friday.  Ready for the weekend.  I must admit that I wish I was planning going out as a made-up queer queen and partying this weekend.  Wonder if I will start smoking again over the weekend.  Did I regress back, or was I actually moving forward toward becoming even more faggy and femmy.  I am still dreaming of cocks, and sucking my first one.  Am I transforming into a homosexual no matter how hard I try to be a straight guy?  I am so weak.  It would just be so easy to give into these faggy femmy feelings.

Mt Name Is Davey

I should probably change the name here.  I'm not really Melinda---I am Davey.

I stopped outside David's Bridal Shop, and stared at the bridal gowns.  I just have dreams of wearing a bridal gown of layers of satin, silk, chiffon, and lace.  Do I really want to be a sissy boi bride?  I know I crave to wear a wedding dress.  Trying to put those sweet dreams behind me.  Wore silky nylon panties again to work.  Once again felt like a femmy faggy sissy boi.  Need to stop thinking that.  Wanted to have a delicious Virginia Slim 120 Menthol so I could puff away my masculinity, but I didn't have any with me!  Smoking those long feminine cigarettes fill my mind up with all sorts of femmy, faggy, sissy boi feelings and thoughts.  Will try to be more of a guy tomorrow.  But, after I wear a silky nylon nightie to bed.  Giggle.

Don't Look In The Panty Drawer

Was getting my cotton boxer shorts out yesterday morning, and saw my nylon panties buried underneath my mens underwear. I couldn't resist picking up a pair of the panties, and holding them.   They felt so silky and slippery and wonderful!  Before I realized what I was doing, I had slipped the pair on.  There was no way to bring myself to taking the panties off, so I ended up wearing them all day. I was getting those sissy girly faggy feelings all day that I'm trying to suppress!  Probably was swishing too!  I am going to have to be bmore careful today.  I know I should throw  all my sissy faggy boi queen things out, but I may be too weak to do it.  If I continue to wear silky panties, I won't be able to stop my sissification and transformation.

Am I Attracted To The Woman Or The Blouse?

Was out with friends yesterday, and I had trouble keeping my eyes off a woman there, who was wearing a rather sheer, very silky maroon blouse.  I could see through the blouse to her lacy bra.  I had thought that I might be transforming into being Gay, but I could stop sneaking looks at her.  Was I attracted to the woman, or was I falling in love with her blouse, and want to be wearing it myself?  Speaking of blouses,  I saw a YouTube video, Barbara's Pink Satin blouse, and I did want to look and be dressed like her.  I liked the smoking in Sissy Tranny Slut out for a public walk in the park. I actually own a sissy dress like she is wearing.  Giggle.  I could do a video like that!  Well, maybe not yet.  Giggle.

Speaking of hot YouTube videos, I was mesmerized by Sexy VS 120 Smoking in Red.  Have to watch that again.

Been so busy lately.  Maybe that is good.  Holding up on doing any big transitions in my life.  Maybe, I need to stop and "smell the roses."

Black Friday For Femmy Queen Boi?

Oooooo ---feels so scrumptious waking up in a slippery silky nylon baby doll nightie!  Could not resist putting it on last night.  But, of course, I had to dilute the feelings by putting my boy pjs over them... ahhh.  Well, darlings, can't have everything in this world, can we?  But, if only I had Daddy's hard juicy cock to suck when I woke up! And roll over on my tummy and have Daddy slip his delicious penis inside my pussy hole.  OOooo---fills me up so nicely.  And pump me full of his wonderful love juices.  I might even get pregnant!  Lovely! But, I would be probably still in bed cuddling and making out!

Smoked 2 delicious Virginia Slim 120 Menthols yesterday morning, and I'm not sure what happened.  I had to sit down after inhaling some good long streams of femming smokey clouds.  And I couldn't even stand upo.  I was in a daze for a couple of hours.  I am such a weakling sissy femmy queen.  The people over for Turkey Day probably just thought I'd had too much wine, but I really didn't drink very much.  I kept my swishing to a mininumum, and I don't think I lisped at all, but it would have been very natural to do so.  Might becoming more and more who I am.  I couldn't help fantasizing myself as being at the get-together in a long silky flowing skirt, a silky sheer slippery high collared, long sleeve femmy blouse, hose and heels and sexy silky lingerie underneath.  Of course, I was actually wearing a pair of silky nylon panties and sheer silky pantyhose all day under my pants.  I couldn't help but discreetly slipping my hand under my pants a number of times during the day to rub the all so silky and femmy feeling front of my panties which were feeling so delicious encasing my cock. But, I really would have preferred someone else rubbing the front of my panties...  ooo giggle.

Well, its Black Friday, and I was not one of those running out to the stores to shop at 5AM.  Actually, I guess a lot of places were open last night.  Well, nothing too exciting for this femmy bois to buy.  Do you think they had a sale on butt plugs?!  Giggle.

Hope all had a great Turkey Day.  Toodles.

Davey